UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure:One Ordinary Day/ThrowGrenade

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
You did this! YOU DID THIS!

You look over at your heart monitor, and fortunately see a real grenade just sitting there. Perhaps you can smoke the Ninjas out of their perch. Not thinking about why it is there, who put it there, or really about anything at all, you just pull out the pin, toss the grenade into the helicopter, and let out a bloodcurdling scream, immediately realizing what you just did. One of the ninjas sees what you did, and jumps out of the helicopter, back towards the building, but the chopper was too far away by that point in time, and he falls 30 stories to his death. It seems that he got the attention of everyone else in the bird though. Realizing their doom, the rest of the ninjas pray to whatever god ninjas believe in. The President, however, only has time to scream out, "YOUUUU ARRRRE A FAAIIIILLLURRE!" just before the helicopter blows up. The explosion rips through the wall of your room, killing the photographer as well.

Upon hearing the commotion, the secret service run into your room just in time to see everything blow up. They look over to see you in your bed, holding onto the pin of the grenade that you threw. Without the photographer there to vouch that you were just an idiot, and not an assassin, everyone assumes that you (purposely) murdered the president. For some reason no one believes that ninjas were involved, telling you it wasn't the 1980's anymore.

You eventually go on trial, in which you are found guilty of assassinating the president. You go to prison, getting beaten up daily from proud Americans who aren't proud that you didn't get the death sentence. Finally, one just puts you out of your misery, killing you in your cell one night. Thank god your nerve endings had time to recover prior to your stay in prison!


You Are Dead.
Restart