UnBooks:A to Z
Okay, kiddies, it's bedtime! What's that? You want a story? How about this story? No? What's that? No, i'm not giving that magic apple juice to you again, or else the nice Judge won't be so nice like last time. How about this book? You like it? Okay, here we go...
A is for Andrew
Andrew's arm is in the alligator's abdomen and about to exit the anus! Arrogant, arrogant Andrew!
B is for Beer
Burt belts down boxes of bottles of beer to avoid braving his bedeviling bisexual feelings.
C is for Cut
Cynthia cut herself. Callously, nobody cared. Curiously cute corpse, though.
D is for Donut
Dan dunked a dozen delicious donuts into his drink. Dan thought the drink was Diet. Dr. Pepper. Doctors determined otherwise... D.O.A.
E is for Enlargement
Elise earned eagerly, and eventually earned enough for breast enlargement. Extremely edifying? No, but definitely uplifting.
F is for Fan
Fritz forced his fat fingers into a fast-moving fan. A fraction (four out of five) returned, freakishly fractured.
G is for Glee
Gerta gazed, mouth gaping, eyes glazed on a groovy episode of "Glee", unaware that Garth's gall bladder burst. Giant gallstones? Good gracious.
H is for House
Hoarding Henry has
grabbed Horrible Hilda's hat.
Hilda burns his house down! Ha!
I is for Itch
Ichabod gave Isabel an itchy rash. Internally. Ick!
J is for Juice
Josh drank Dad's juice from the locked cabinet. Josh's legs? Jelly. Josh's torso? Jack-in-the-box. Josh's brain? Jigsaw Jesus.
K is for Kettle
Karen kicks her kitten, but is too lazy to turn off the kettle. The kettle went "KA-BOOM", and killed 6 people.
L is for Laxative
Leonard sits in the lavatory attempting to loosen his stomach. Likewise, like most people, he is lazy and uses a laxative.
M is for Mark
Michelle has a mark on her face. Mike drank too much again.
N is for Nasty
Natalia did something nasty with Mr. Newman, but he promises her a new bike if she dosen't tell.
O is for Owls
Oliver can't afford normal meat, so he eats owls.
P is for Pedophile
The pastor is in prison after the police discovered his passion. He will be punished.
Q is for Quack
The ducks used to say 'quack' in a quiet manner. Not since Quincy arrived.
R is for Retard
msot rtaaads cntu uus a kybrooad.
S is for Steak
Now that Sam is affiliated with the mafia, he can give Stella steak every Saturday.
T is for Track
Terrence used to to run on the track. The subway tracks. Ta ta!
U is for Uterus
8 babies have gone into Ursella's uterus. Only one has surived.
V is for Vaccuum
Vince likes to chase his dog Victor around with the vaccuum. Vroom! Vince is having trouble getting Victor out.
W is for Whino
Willie is a Whino. He likes to drink wine. He is a pilot.
X is for X-ray
Xavier can locate where the condom is stuck by using an X-ray.
Y is for Yell
Yvon yells at Yalene a lot. It's better than when he hits her.
Z is for ZZZ
Zephyr says "ZZZ" when he sleeps. The ZZZ will stop when his kids put a pillow over his face.