Turtle-Tortoise Alliance

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
A photograph of the Tortoise and the Turtle Federation leaders rejoicing about peace.

The Turtle-Tortoise Alliance was a defensive pact formed in 1982 to ensure the safety of both parties from the wrath of Khan. After Khan's subsequent defeat at the hands of his pet dog Genghis, the leaders of both sovereigns agreed to a merger. The Alliance has fared well over the years, however, recently rising tensions have caused many to talk of the disintegration of the Alliance.

History[edit]

In 1982, a conference was held between the leaders of the Tortoise and Turtle Federations in some hole in Geneva. Although the meeting was arranged to take place in the year of 1970, it was delayed due to issues regarding the land speed of the leaders. Despite the two nations having close relations with each other, such a meeting had never taken place before. The Tortoise Federation was represented by some old guy who claims to have been on a first name basis with Charles Darwin, while the Turtle's sent Secretary of Defense Raphael, Secretary of Pizza Michaelangelo, Secretary of Time Machines Donatello, and President Leonardo. They decided then and there that they needed to watch each others backs to prevent Khan's horses from trampling them. After an arms build-up lasting five years, the Alliance finally got word from one of their messengers that Khan was defeated a week after their conference. Shortly after, in 1989, the leaders of the Turtles were assassinated by reptilian nationals. In order to consolidate during such a hazardous time, the two sovereigns became a singular nation. In 1991, the newly formed country was admitted into NATO, where they saw limited action in Operation Desert Storm, mostly being involved in minor amphibious assaults and transport. The current leader of the Turtle-Tortoise Alliance is Franklin, a Turtle conservative.

Franklin[edit]

Franklin was elected into office as President of the Turtle-Tortoise Alliance in 1999. He has been seen as the most aggressive of Alliance leaders so far, even confessing to owning a firearm. He is best known for always wearing a red backpack; however, few know that this backpack harbors the country's nuclear football. Some of his critics have claimed this behavior to be reckless, despite it having saved the country once already. This notable event took place when, during peace talks with North Korea, one of Franklin's advisers mocked Daffy Duck. Quick to anger, the country's leader threatened to launch the country's invisible nuclear weapons at the Alliance. However, always prepared, Franklin pulled out the football, scaring the shit out of Kim Jong Il. However, the defining moment of Franklin's presidency took place immediately after he swore into office. By placing all of the country's electronics into the tire fire, Franklin averted the imminent disaster that was y2k.

Future of the Turtle-Tortoise Alliance[edit]

As it stands, the future of the Alliance is in jeopardy. With the failing health of Franklin, the two once independent nations are whining about how they wanted to lick the bowl when the first lady made cookies. A record number of hit and run style attacks have been conducted by tortoise anarchists in recent years. With the 7/11 bombing of the lettuce factory taking place in 2006, many denizens of the nation are supporting a division of the two races. It is unclear how unionists plan to react, but, as of now the future of the nation is uncertain.

These things sound like they're related to this article, dunno if they actually are though[edit]