Trotskygrad

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Trotskygrad is more of a way of life than a city. Many cities throughout the ages have claimed to be the one true Trotskygrad, and many have produced DNA evidence to certify that they are in fact the progeny of Leningrad and Stalingrad, however evidence has never stood up to intense scrutiny as most often than not, somebody realises that cities don't have DNA. Recent research has brought to light new information on the city and an expedition led by Christopher Lumley in 2003 has un-earthed very convincing evidence as to the reallocation of the fabled city.

Origins of the Myth

The Myth of Trotskygrad can be dated back to January 1898 when the city's namesake,Lev Davidovich Bronstein, was first imprisoned for revolutionary activity. Whilst imprisoned, 'Old Lev', as he was commonly known wrote profusely about a city he had founded "only last Tuesday". Although not much is known as to the Authenticity of Bronstein's claims, historians have traced this as the first ever record of the existence of Trotskygrad.

Many theoreticians have hypothesised that Bronstein assumed the name Trotsky after he heard the legend of Trotskygrad, however this theory has been disclaimed as investigative journalists from The Sun discovered that this was not possible since "Trotskygrad is named after Trotsky, not the other way round you berk" (citation needed). Unfortunately, very few records remain detailing Bronstein's stay in prison from 1898 till his escape in 1902, save for three handwritten notebooks. Bronstein is not known to have mentioned Trotskygrad again in his life. His silence only helped to shroud the myth in mystery and have led notable historians to label him as a veritable "tease"

The Notebooks of Trotskygrad, and Other Short Stories

Most evidence of Trotskygrad is found in the three notebooks that Bronstein wrote in during his imprisonment form 1898 till 1902. In these three books, titled "Trotskygrad, and Other Short Stories" volumes I - III, Bronstein goes into minute detail into his everyday life and only makes fleeting remarks about Trotskygrad which have tantalized historians for decades. In the notebooks, Trotskygrad is described as a beautiful city on the banks of the river Moskva with beautiful green trees in the summer and pure white snow in the winter.

Bronstein's Trotskygrad

Although to the annoyance of most modern historians Bronstein does not give GPS coordinates for Trotskygrad, he does provide a lurid account of some of the buildings which he constructed (single-handedly?) in the short time in which he was the city's ruler and presumably sole inhabitant. Amongst the building mentioned are the Red Square, Kremlin, Mosco Metro, Pushkin Museum of Fine Art and the Bolshoi Theatre. However it is the El Mausoleum de Lenin(sic) which has most intrigued investigators, who to date have still not found a translation of Bronstein's original words into the English language. The academic consensus is that El Mausoleum de Lenin is a legend within a legend, a mythical monument in the mythical city of Trotskygrad. According to Bronstein the El Mausoleum de Lenin will be the final resting place of the creator of the universe and that he himself will then be ruler of Trotskygrad if it weren't for "that dickhead Joseph Sta...", antagonising the rest of the name is smudged and forensic investigation has not been able to uncover surname of Bronstein's nemesis.

Controversy over handwriting

In late 1989, controversy arose among Trotskygradologists as a study published posthumously by Pavel Milyukov which lauded the fabled city as a "pile of bollocks". He based his assertions upon a forensic study, which analyzed the handwriting in which Bronstein wrote about Trotskygrad and found that it did not match the handwriting he used in later life. The study also found that the handwriting does match that of Alexander Pushkin, who upon further investigation was found to have been sharing a cell with Bronstein during his imprisonment. Further evidence that point's to Puskin being the author are the other short stories mentioned in the title which are in fact Pushkin's drama Boris Godunov. Trotskygradoologists have since been seen throughout the world in states of despair as it finally sinks in that they hav wasted many years of their life on, to quote Milyukov: "a pile of bollocks"

Trotskygrad as a way of life

Trotskygrad has also been commonly been referred to as a way of life. It is a way of life that has been known to be incompatible with ice-picks.