The Two Ronnies
Ronnie Barkius (729 AD- 805 AD) and Ronnie Corbettanius (730 AD-830 AD) were two saints credited for help spreading Christianity and Cheesy Humour in England. They are known as the 'Two Ronnies' and are two of England's most famous saints. Their Feast Day is still celebrated with gargantuan lunches, cross dressing and double entendres.
History[edit]
Ronnie Barkius and Ronnie Corbettanius were originally from Anglo-Saxon England but had moved to Germany in an attempt to convert the tribes there from sophisticated literal puns to coarse bottom-baring jokes. Pope Gregory II in Rome said this was too Byzantine and redirected their efforts back to their homeland. If the Two Ronnies did it, the Gregory promised he would fast track their sainthoods.
Religious practices[edit]
In the night, Ronnie Barkius had a vision from Saint Mary that he must install fork handles in the church. Barkius went and told the church about this vision, but the bishop misheard him, and four candles were placed on the altar instead. This tradition carries on today in many churches around the world.
Ronnie Corbettus's vision was to sit in a rocking chair and tell stories that dated back to the Pharaohs.
Comedic Theology[edit]
The two saints were able to convert nearly all the Anglo-Saxons to their humour. The exception was Scotland who were still stuck in an older era for jokes. However, near the end of their saintly careers Ronnie Barkius and Ronnie Corbettus lost their audience to the Vikings.