The French Are The Best Nation Ever
“The French are truly the greatest nation ever - we shall surely inherit the Earth.”
The French are the best nation ever. This is a proven fact and it is largely down to the fact that the French are masters of multiple talents such as cheese-making, wine-drinking and art: oh yes - Paris is the city of love and everyone knows the best chefs in the world are French.
What more does one need to justify the theory that the French are the best?
Truly they are God's chosen people.
Things That The French Do Better Than You[edit]
French Cuisine[edit]
The French have long been associated with excellent cuisine and are a nation that excels at devouring pretty much anything that moves and a great deal that doesn't: few other nations can offer the mouthwatering option of frog's legs or fresh horsemeat - and let us not forget the true reason France is seen as the pinnacle of European cuisine, the cheese!
Indeed France has some of the world's most delicious and pungent cheeses ever created and take immense pride in their stinky produce, this combined with the near-indestructible French bread makes French cuisine not only delicious but also a sustainable source for bio-weaponry should the nation ever engage in war.
French Culture[edit]
French culture is the jewel of Europe, like a glittering bottlecap in a cesspool of mediocrity. Indeed what other nation can lay claim to such wonders as the Mime: a creature so reviled even clowns are more popular. Although it isn't widely known, except by exceedingly tedious researchers, Gothic architecture began in France. This is no doubt some sort of crowning achievement in itself but has been forever tainted by the emo movement, which has latched itself onto the superior Goth culture like a parasite.
The French also wrote thrilling family-tales such as "Bluebeard", which was the story of a mass-murdering nobleman and his quest to kill his hapless lover. We'd like to see anyone outside of France try and write that (alright, so you Americans may have Lovecraft but it simply isn't the same).
Plus, who can forget the great Notre Dame Cathedral, which was once home to that loveable scoundrel Quasimodo - whose fun-filled frolicks were documented in another decidedly French tale: The Hunchback Of Notre Dame.
French Language[edit]
The French language is one of mystery, romance and above all else utter confusion. Yet that is why it is also the most superior language on Earth: Few other nations exist that can lay claim to having so many different ways to pronounce simple letters and complicate sentences with masculine and feminine subdivision.
French Revolution[edit]
When it comes to Revolution the French excel, they truly know how to get the point across - indeed France led Europe in the way of Revolution and taught the world an important moral lesson in the process: Dislike one's authority figures? Behead them without trial! Truly, you won't find such a masterful display of democracy in action anywhere else.