Talk:Lonely hearts column

Mhaille, Sog1970, Aleister in Chains, Lyrithya, Mimo&maxus, Sockpuppet of an Unregistered User, Black_flamingo11, PuppyOnTheRadio, Mrthejazz, Dexter111344

Everyone?

ME TOO YOU NIGGERBITCH CLOCKFLUCKER ROMAN BIRD DOG WANKS ON MY LAWN TO NIGGER MUSIC 92.11849.302

You're crazy, man... o__o

1234 ~ 23:23, 13 January 2011

So that's who that IP was... —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:25, 13 January 2011

What's this list? --~   13:16, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

It's a list of lonely men looking for love. --Black Flamingo 14:45, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Just men? Are zombies still men?

1234 ~ 16:34, 14 January 2011

No. Who said about Zombies? --~   16:41, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

There are zombies...

1234 ~ 17:42, 14 January 2011

Who's a zombie? --~   19:47, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Discussion

To develop:

• Something about paedos (obviously)
• something about "open minded" meaning really dirty shit.
• murderer (again, obviously)
• Something about a guy who has put out an ad for the girl who dumped him?
• Comics nerd with glasses and freckles looking for any female Marvel Comic hero.
• Man addicted to drugs looking for drug dealer.
• Emo looking for another emo to enjoy with him/her the joys of suicide.
• Masochist seeks sadist to give his worthless life some meaning. Please contact me, please! I worship you!
• Shy German man looking for attractive Jew lady who enjoys long train rides, showers, dieting and men in uniform.
• Skeleton looking for role in a B horror film. Directors only please.
• Corrupt Cop interested in classical music looking for 12-year old girl. I'm talking about you Mathilda. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Sorry to butt in on your secret project and all, but I did have a couple suggestions. I didn't write these, so it is up to you if you want to use them... They were real ads that were printed in a newspaper called the "Cleveland Scene".

• I saw you at Tiki Bobs. You grabbed my butt and I told you if you did that again I'd kill you. You did. I need your address now.

• Minimalist needs good woman.

I like the idea for your project, so I'm gonna try to come up with some original stuff for it to help you out, if you want my help. You mentioned on Lyrithya's page that you were looking to collab with some other authors.

Okay, guess that's it for now → I am greatSoup? 19:12 4-Jan-11 ←

Formatting will be here if I ever get around to it. 1234 ~ 00:56, 9 January 2011

Wait a minute, you mean these ads have to be real? --~   14:07, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

...No? Where did you get that idea? --Black Flamingo 14:10, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

...er... --~   14:13, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Me, Jesus. You, Satan. No freaks. Aleister 14:16 9 1 '11

Just found this one on the internet, absolutely genuine: Are you Kate Bush? Write to obsessive man (36). Note, people who aren't Kate Bush need not respond. Wish I'd thought of that. --Black Flamingo 18:30, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

Recent divorcee seeks single blonde, 33 years 8 days. Must be 5 foot eleven inches, with small birth mark on left buttock and own my own home. --Sog1970 17:26, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Extreme narcisist seeks own identical twin for mutual love fest.--Sog1970 17:28, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Discerning Klanswoman seeks tall, dark and handsome stranger. Just not too dark.--Sog1970 18:07, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Lonely eunuch seeks understanding woman (25-40) for walks in the park, candle-lit dinners, evenings by the fire and no more. --Sog1970 16:46, January 11, 2011 (UTC)

Dirty dog needs to bury his bone. Any bitch will do.

Hungry cannibal seeks willing victim for brief relationship to nourish more than just the soul.

Heavily tattooed man, 35, into piercings, amphetamines and animal-related pornography seeeks older lady (55-70) to mother him.

Commitment phobic male (25) would like to meet woman for flirty fun, adventurous sex and no more.

You're 5 foot eleven, blonde, 25 with a big rack. I look like Shrek and smell like Donkey - but you'll get your reward in heaven

The National Lottery: You have to be in it to win it. Maybe I'm an Adonis. Maybe I just need you to send me £1. There's only one way to find out

Recently released sex-offender seeks woman with pulse. Or at least one who recently had a pulse.

Zombie seeks woman with brains.

Self-medicating schizophrenic enjoys violent arguments and tender make-up sex. Take the rough with the smooth and call me

Classic Car enthusiast seeks beautiful heiress with Bentley Speed Six in need of restoration. Has own socket set and can travel. Please enclose photo of Bentley

Pink Floyd enthusiast - I don't need your arms around me, and I don't need your drugs to calm me. Don't think I need anything at all. Don't bother me on 08 6886575

--Sog1970 14:19, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Why is everything I write at "To develop" part? --~   18:03, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I should start by saying it's not because they're bad, but they feel a little unfinished. They're good ideas, but most of them don't really involve a funny twist. Take the police one for example, that was a great idea, but the wording was a little plain - I rearranged it a little and now I'm much happier with it. I have ideas for some of the others you contributed as well, like the growing your own pot one, which was pretty good to begin with. Don't take it personally, I'm making some executive decisions and will probably remove a lot of my own and maybe even one or two of Sog's as well. I'm maniacal like that. But keep them coming, if you want to argue a case for any of the ones I moved down then I'm all ears. --Black Flamingo 18:52, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

I'm all noses. --~   18:54, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Uncyclopedian seeks teenage girl. Males are not allowed except Black flamingo. --~   14:27, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Rich Scorpio thinks astrology is horse-shit but is rich.