From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

"Ooooh, that smell! Can't you smell that smell?"

~ Lynyrd Skynyrd on Stench
The "difficult" second album

A pioneer British punk band formed in 1974, Stench is largely credited with starting the trend of naming yourself after something disgusting in order to sound anti-social. Copycat acts included: Vomit, The Boogermen, and Smegma.

They are currently ranked #60 on the Worst 100 Bands of All Time.


Ralph Featherstonehaugh formed Stench as an attempt to get free airfare and a good seat at the renowned HBGB (hee-bee-gee-bee's) club in Newark, New Jersey. "Philthy" Phil Franklin was a recently unemployed ex-member of Lobe. Featherstonehaugh approached Franklin with a plan to create the most anti-social, anti-establishment, anti-corporate, anti-pro-anything group the world had ever seen. Franklin's enthusiastic reply came: "I'll do anything for a buck."

A few phone calls later, Stench was born.

Members & Instruments[edit]

  • Ralph "Eat Me" Featherstonehaugh ~ Anti-establishment ranting
  • Xavier "Zed" Woolfardisworthy ~ 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5-string electric guitars
  • "Philthy" Phil Franklin ~ Ukelele, electric washtub bass, armpit noises & harmony grunts
  • Hei Yomama ~ Accordion, cello, coronet, timpani, & gong
  • Brenda Dickinson ~ Burt Reynolds® impersonator

Band Practice[edit]

To capture and maintain the essence of true punk sound, practice was expressedly forbidden. Members were required to re-audition for the band weekly, in order to prove that their musicianship had not improved. Hei Yomama was nearly dismissed on several occasions, but quickly learned to adapt by changing his playing techniques once he developed adeptness at anything. His radical invention of rectum coronet playing begat a wild trend of punk rockers exposing themselves at concerts everywhere.


Smell This, U.S.
Flog Your Dog * 101 Ways To Start A Fight
Screw U (and the Horse You Rode In On) Lick My Boot, Suit!
Insane In The Brain ** The Rumble **
Auntie Aircraft Gun Hate **
Billboard® Rank: Screw Billboard

"The album cover was sticky... I should have known that whatever was inside would be worse..."

~ Harry Sphincter, The Washington Post
Live From The Back Of My Lorry
Must Suck To Be You * Hail To The Thief **
What Up Gangsta ** Hangin’ Tough **
I Want a New Drug ** Fight The Power **
In Da Hood ** Da Man **
Rancid Pants Born To Be Wild **
Billboard® Rank: *@#$+!%= Billboard

"Was there music? I couldn't hear over the backfiring..."

~ Dick Hertz, The San Franciso Chronicle
No! Our Asses Aren't Corporate Owned
(for Walt Disney Records)
When You Wish Upon A Star * Put A Little Love In Your Heart **
The Alphabet Song ** Share The Land **
I Love You, You Love Me ** Give Peace A Chance **
I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing ** Forgiveness **
Kum-Ba-Ya ** Puff The Magic Dragon **
Billboard® Rank: #77

"Wherever these guys are going, it's gone straight over my head. It parted my hair in the middle..."

~ Shanda Lear, Rolling Stone
The Contractual Obligation Album
  • Single: Take This Job and Shove It **

"I flogged my dog all night long..."

~ Jesus of Nazareth, The Chihuahua Provincial Examiner

* = Designates a released single. ** = Has been covered by other artists.

See Also[edit]