Shanghai

“I can haz skyscrapurs?”

~ kitten on Shanghai

An unusually clear sky in Shanghai.

Shanghai is highly overpopulated and overrated. Due to a high amount of people.

Chinese Hooters in Shanghai.

The city has seven times more baby boys than baby girls. All the baby girls were either killed by parents, killed by abortion clinic, or exported to America. Not that baby girls are the only things exported to America. Far from it. They export Thomas the Tank Engine toys, Elmo toys, bokos, cars, trucks, technology, the cheap furniture you bought at Wal-Mart, and tpoy, and STDS.

Overseas Chinese come back to China and look out of place and cause fights with whities as often as possible, yet look down on local Chinese. There is no higher power than the foreign-born Chinese, according to the behaviour of foreign-born Chinese in Shanghai.

Demographics

Shanghai has a population of 6893403585084894. Its population density is ∞ people/m². Its population is 1000.001% communist and nothing else!(Source: Communism First News)

Economy

innovative Chinese advertising technology in use because theres no more land in Shangai.

The main economy in Shanghai is rice (as it would seem) but also parts per pollution (PPP) which is sold in small canisters (about the size of a cell phone). The PPP canisters can be found underground near railroads, or more importantly near Stinky Toufu Daxue (Toufu University). Once a person obtains a PPP canister they need only to open the lid to collect pollution, thereby ensuring their economic success.

Cuisine

if you cant tell its a vacuum sealed Pigface.

This primarily consists of rats on sticks (sold at nightmarkets)....or even better, Panda with Plumblossoms. It is lightly browned or served in a Chinese style hot pot. After this it is put over some old brown rice that was fertilized with night soil, and you end up sick the next morning or 107 seconds later.

Government

Primarily run by Chinese midgets who speak in Shanghainese. Foreigners need not apply, you won't be able to understand them, even with ten years of Mandarin training. This is what keeps the government of Shanghai going....

Transportation

cross walks, lane lines, and lights are decoratonal as is the fake car/moped.

Pedestrians run severe risk of getting run over by anything that moves. Angered Chinese people on bicycles, angry Chinese people in cars, angry Chinese people on bicycles on sidewalks, angry Chinese people in cars trying to run down angry Chinese people on bicycles trying to run down oblivious people on sidewalks, and angry white people who are lost. They also have a risk of going deaf as cars regularly honk their horns at over 130 decibels.

The trains will leave you with a semi disfigured ass because of "hard seats."

Lines mean nothing, traffic lights and policemen should be ignored at all costs.

The Shanghai Metro has 15 lines, of which 14 are extremely overcrowded and one completely empty because it is so far from the city centre. Foreigners taking the Metro risk resembling their MetroCard.

Shanghai is famous for its traffic jams and its elevated roads, which means that you have a choice of either going through a 3-hour traffic jam on the ground and screaming because you need the toilet, or going through a 2-hour traffic jam on an elevated road and screaming because you just found out you were afraid of heights.

Facilities

Public facilities are purely decorational, and all public toilets have not been cleaned in 5 years to try to mask the smell of car exhaust and factory smoke.

The Real Facts

Shanghai is a city where people go to find hot Chinese girls. Shanghai smells of poo, due to the controversial 'One Man, One Poo' Chinese Communist ideology that insists that each citizen must carry around both an ID card and a stool sample at all times, incase of emergencies.

See also

Communism, Chinese hooker.