Schoolhouse Rock!

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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.

The very first German television program, Schoolhouse Rock (or under its original German title: "Das Schulgebäude füllte mit der Ausbildung und Musik, die mit Kindern, aber populär sind, nicht ihren Eltern") was a weekly animated television series which ran from 1959 to 1985


Set in the Austrian Alps of the 1930's, the show followed the lives of five thirty-something SS Officers who worked undercover at a high school for the performing arts. Sadly, the show did not live up to it's tagline, I'm gonna live forever! as it was cancelled after only one season.

Critics claimed that audiences were frightened by the sudden outburst of song. The need for "der Badekurort- und Ölraum" (The Spa and Oil Room) and excessive body-building references were never clearly explained, and for many viewers seemed out-of-place in an animated children's show. The show aired videos (educational). The first one (September 21, 1959) was how to shoot a person. The last one (August 14, 1985) was how to kiss people.

Production Crew[edit]

  • Created by Thom Yorke
  • Produced by Joseph Goebbels
  • Directors..... Leni Reifenstahl And Ralph the Wonderllama
  • Writing Credits .....Friedrich Nietzsche and Wald von Zelig
  • Music ..... Richard Vogner
  • Lead Animator ..... Colleen Atwood


  • Greta Garbo ..... Mühe mögen Maria (voice)
  • AH-nuldt SchwartzÖnecker .....Officer Hans Hanson (voice)
  • Zsa Zsa Gabor ..... Mädchen Marcia (voice)
  • Eva Gabor ..... Mädchen Jan (voice)
  • Lili von Schtupp ..... Mädchen Cindy (voice)
  • Magda Gabor ..... Frau Alice (voice)
  • Zeppo Gabor ..... Officer Wilhelm Klink (voice)
  • Johanne Fahne ..... Huggy Bär (voice)
  • Schmutziger alter Mann ..... Haupt Armin Tamzarian (voice)
  • Dan Castellaneta ..... Rasenwartungsmonteur Villhelm (voice)
  • Bob ............ Himself

Songs From The Show[edit]

Despite the strange hair-cuts and ridiculous plot-lines, the songs were memorable and were later used by American teachers to instruct students about basic grammatical rules and civics lessons. Some of the more popular songs:

  • September 21, 1959
Shoot People NOW!
  • Gegenstandswort-und Verb-Grundbausteine der Grammatik
(English trans: "Making Baby Sentences")
  • Können Sie Ihren Eltern Vertrauen
(English trans: "Basic Government for Young Citizens")
  • Horten Sie, Welches Geld, Während Sie Können
(English trans: "Counting Number Is Fun")
  • DisenHuesen Geld welch
(English trans:"Procrastonation leads to masturbation")
  • Ich Verhungere Nicht, Wenn Ich Ihre Katze Esse
(English trans: "Neighbors Are Your Friends")
  • Zusammenhang-Verzweigung, Was Ihre Funktion Ist
(English trans: "National ID's Are Good for A Strong Nation")
  • August 14, 1985
Kisser to Kisser

Influences on American Popular Culture[edit]

Some of the children who learned the songs during their formative years became television and film producers and worked to revive their beloved series.

  • One of the children, Karl Rove, dubbed over the original German dialogue of the Schoolhouse series to introduce it to another generation of youth[1]: Americans.

Mr. Rove was forced to take the series underground when viewers complained about the excessive use of "product placement"[2]. Many people suspected that Mr. Rove was using the series to promote his exterminator business and demanded that the show return to its educational roots. Further investigation discovered accounting errors in the cross-promotion of other Aryan Broadcasting Company programs. Mr. Rove's attorney entered a plea of "too busy" for his client. A TV court found Mr. Rove not liable and excused to go take a nap.

Mr. Rove soon abandoned the TV show, and decided to produce Schoolhouse movies instead, titles included:

  • The Harlem Globetrotters Go To Schoolhouse Rock
  • Schoolhouse Rock Goes to Gilligan's Island
  • Schoolhouse Rock Meets Ronald McDonald
  • Ernest Goes to Schoolhouse Rock
  • The Schoolhouse Rock Timeshare Primer
  • L. Ron Hubbard Teaches At Schoolhouse Rock
  • Schoolhouse Rock: Just Set it, And Forget It!
  • Schoolhouse Rock: A Tek Jansen Adventure
  • Schoolhouse Rock: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
  • Schoolhouse Rock: The Movie: Cloverfield
  • Snakes on Schoolhouse Rock
  • Schoolhouse Rock: Uncensored

Despite the controversy surrounding the series, American children who grew up watching them have been found to have a more complete understanding of the world around them[3].

"Schoolhouse Rock" Today[edit]

The original Schoolhouse Rock series is available on DVD and some of the songs were published in book form for the U.S. under the title "Die Knechtschaft dauert nur noch kurze Zeit!" which translated into English as:

"Book of Songs for Schoolchildren"

The Rove-produced Schoolhouse movies are also available on DVD and Broadway musicals based on the movies are in the works.

Too much jizz.


  1. ^  U.S. Schoolhouse revival: Broadcast title: "Schoolhouse Rock" (1969-1976), Aryan Broadcasting Company, K. Rove producer, Rupert Murdoch, producer. Mid-season replacement for "Love, Aryan Style."
  2. ^  Product Placement (def.) verb 1. The act of placing items for sale on the set of a TV show, or movie for use as props or to be featured prominently as a way of avoiding regulations on commercial promotions. 2. To ruin a movie or TV show, but still make a profit. (Example: "Officer Hans' use of SchwartzÖnecker Brand Steroids distracts from the plot concerning Mädchen Jan's terrible envy of Mädchen Marcia.)
  3. ^  Limbaugh, Rush, Oxycontin-fueled rage #3, January 14, 1999.