Burping

Burping, also known as belching, eructing, gargling, burgling and belching, is a monster that releases inflammable toxic chemicals in the air. It contains sulphur tetrachloride and potassium cyanide, a deadly mixture which makes the flowers in your vase wilt.

Cause

Burps are caused when farting isn't enough to get all the gas out, because enough pressure hasn't been built up yet. The amount of pressure needed for farting is 2,462.64 kiloNewtons per milliNewton of air, but burping requires only half of that. Burps are also caused by drinking too little beer. So get drunk so you don't burp.

Examples

When a burp occurs, a sound is made through an organ in the mouth. It is sometimes hard to describe a sound of a burp, but here are a few examples:

1. a person who tries to say "bread", but says "drake" instead
2. an adolescent whose voice is starting to break
3. a lion who eats a rather big antelope and drinks beer from the fountain afterwards

As Wikipedia said, the loudest burp recorded was from Paul Hunn, who burped at a 118.1 decibels (as loud as a chainsaw from 1 metre away). But scientists have proven that it is possible to burp as loud as 170 decibels (as loud as a fighter jet plane from 1 metre away).

It is also believed the tsunami in South East Asia was caused by a giant sea-lion burping in a distant island in the Indian Ocean.

Social context and etiquette

In the Western World burping, like waving, is a way of saying "nice meeting you today". Old men sitting in a bar sometimes think of "those old days" when they used to burp their way through Social Studies class.

Two people who cannot speak each other's language usually get the message across by burping.

In the eastern world burping is a rarity which only happens to the ones chosen by God. It is a way of "burping the devil out". The more you burp on the dinner table, the more blessed you are. Fart (or flatulence) is considered the opposite of burp. The devil is supposed to get hold of you, so watch your backs, and I mean this both ways.

Do other animals burp?

Yes. Cars burp out carbon monoxide, and goats burp out aluminium hydrophosphate. To date, these are the only two animals known to burp.

But scientists are currently researching on whether trucks burp too. They usually test this by using a BST, or a Burp Stimulant Test. It is a test where the animal is tickled in the stomach with a feather. But it is feared that this animal might release chemicals too toxic for the environment, such as the chemical fartium.

Other forms of burp

Some female organs are said to produce a burp too. The vagina, commonly known as the Wishing Well, sometimes makes a 'pweef' sound when pressed. This is caused when the vagina takes in too much air from too many people.

Burps can also be let out from one's back hole. Such kind of burping is called farting.

History of Burping

Boys started burping. As well as farting. But, Burp has many historical contexts.

A tribe in Africa called Hullaballooburpymen performed a ritual where they sacrificed the loudest burper in the group to the God of Burpdom, to prevent the God from inflicting the punishment of Burpdom onto the tribe. Either way they used to get entertained by watching the burper burn in the fire anyway. The faintest burper was usually made to drink lots of beer (lucky him) so that his burps got louder and louder.

Alegsander the Grey, the great conqueror, filling himself with the Royal Feast once, got up from the dinner table, let out a loud fart, and said, "what a nice burp that was". No one ever came to know the real truth, though his umpteenth wife who was sitting beside him was reported dead the next day of unknown causes.

An ancient society known as the Zumbaziburpa wrote seven commandments, one of which said, "Thou Shalt Not Burp". Once when they invited an Irish man for dinner, and served him some delicious stew which they named Naverburpinmyplet. The dish made him burp very loudly indeed. That was the last anyone ever saw of that man.(None of this is even real history)

The Wine Bottler isn't one to criticise because The Wine Bottler Isn't the best at splleing Or Gramamr, but The Wine Bottler urges you to look carefully at this article.

Preceded by: Singing

Best Thing in Existence 25 million BC - 20 million BC

Succeeded by: The Wheel