Rod Blagojevich

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Come on man, let's sit down and chat.

Psst. You. Yeah, you. Come on, don't stare at me like that. Listen, I got a little offer for you. Something really useful for you. What? No, don't look at me like that.

What are you getting at?

Throw a little bit of this my way, will you?

Come on now, "getting at" is such a harsh term. I've got this fucking valuable thing, and I can't just give it away for nothing. A good old colored friend of mine is giving up a position in power. I'm supposed to "appoint" his replacement. That's where you come in.

You want me to bribe you?

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would never consider bribing. Let's just say it's empty, and I've got to fill it in. Let's also say, with a little push, you might have an "influence" on my decision.

Is this legal?

Legal? Kid, you've got a lot to learn. In my line a work, well, it isn't "legal", but we haven't gotten caught, so it isn't really ILLEGAL, hmm? Just stop sweating like a pig, there. Don't worry, we're all buddies here.

I'm calling the police.

WHOA! Easy there, tiger. There's no need to get hasty. Besides, no one has to know. It doesn't matter if you're not interested. I've got a few Benjamin Franklins that say you'll keep your mouth shut. Hey, what are you getting out that phone for? You're not gonna do it, are you? *Sigh* I always hate when it comes to this. Too bad, kid. You and me coulda ruled Chicago.