Rabies Cube
 |
This article is complete, irredeemable tit. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, allows at the artery, and is an unfunny jerk. If you attempt to vote this, you will most colloquially vote Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will vote your tit!!!!!! |
Introduction[edit]
The Rabies Cube™ is a toy cube similar to the Rubik's Cube, except instead of having colored sides, it has syllables spelling out the word "Rabies", has 6x6x6 cubes instead of 3x3x3. But most importantly, and horrifyingly...
It will give you rabies![edit]
That's right. If you solve the Rabies Cube, spelling out "Rabies" on all sides, the innermost cube will release a nasty aerosol with an mutated airborn form of rabies that will most likely infect you. That's what makes this cube special.
Why would I want to be infected with rabies?[edit]
That's a good question. Maybe for the thrill. Or maybe because you're already insane and a bout of rabies wouldn't make much difference. Or you're simply in disbelief that anyone would make a toy that will actually infect you with a deadly neural disease, although that is in fact the case.
The good news...[edit]
However, it's not as bad as it may sound. The chances are microscopic that you'll ever solve this nasty cube. Since there are 6x6x6-1 cubes that can be fiddled and diddled with, the number of permutations, which are 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 only for the 3x3x3 Rubik's Cube. The number of permutations for the Rabies Cube, however, is approximately 10^googolplex^216, meaning it may take until the end of the universe to solve the thing. The best way to release the rabies would be to smash the cube with a large sledgehammer, exposing the inner cube. But why would you want to do that? It'll only infect you with rabies. If you still manage to solve the cube, do not hesitate the call the hospital or you'll soon be running around frothing and snarling.
Who's the cube for?[edit]
You can give the cube to someone you dislike with the hope that they will solve the cube. Santa, in his limitless sinisterness, tends to give the cube to naughty children as a punishment for their sins. It can be given to politicians, mob members or crime bosses or corrupt corporate leaders for instance as a sort of terrorism activity. However, anyone who gets infected may actually infect you in return since rabies is infectious and volatile. If you want to commit suicide, you may want to use the cube yourself even though it will take a considerable time to solve it. Forcing someone to solve it may be a form of torture, although you wouldn't want to be near when your victim (unlikely) solves the cube.
Where can I get it?[edit]
The Rabies Cube can be bought in toy stores, practical joke device shops or at terrorism training camps. It generally comes at the prize of 40 dollars on average, although terrorists or mad scientists tends to give it to you for free.
Tips on how to solve it[edit]
The best way to solve the Rabies Cube is always to find yourself an idiot savant. One of them may be able to solve the cube within a few minutes. Or you could use a computer program where you enter the current configuration of all the six sides, and it will calculate the fastest way for you to solve the cube.