Portal:Comedy/Selected biography/Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is the greatest traitor in the history of comedy.

Long before he became the unfunny political commentator and talk show stooge you love so dearly, Colbert shown brightly as one of humor’s greatest purveyors. Of course, you’re too young, brainwashed, and/or oblivious to know this, because the only reason you’ve ever heard of Stephen Colbert is his Daily Show spin-off. And because of that sad truth, not only are you a comically-devoid moron, but an unwitting supporter of comedic retrogradation. For this, you should be completely, utterly ashamed. I am completely, utterly serious.

Stephen Tyrone Colbert was born, grew up in South Carolina, and blah blah blah. None of that shit is important. I can't even believe you're still reading this as opposed to vandalizing the page in a display of ignorant hatred for the truths I'm displaying to your meager brain cells. Seriously, I'm eagerly awaiting your slack-jawed demonstration of retaliatory idiocy.

Oh. You're staying.