Paradox in a Can
The Paradox in a Can is one of the University of Oxbridge's more radical inventions, and is still popular among children, having been next year's most popular toy. The device combines all the fun of a metaphysical, reality bending temporal paradox with the unbeatable schoolboy charm of things in a can. It appears as a small, brightly-coloured tin, which when opened causes an internal mechanism to explode five seconds before the opening occurred, creating much head-scratching jocularity among its audience. More practical uses for the devices have not yet been found, although they have been estimated to have shortened the lifespan of the Universe by some 2 billion years, a much-needed relief to cynics everywhere.
Paradox in a Can comes in three sizes: Infinitely Large, Medium, and Non-existent. In 2003, a new version, Lemon Paradox in a Can, was test-marketed to select colleges, at which time it was discovered that a Lemon Paradox in a Can had already been test-marketed in 1999. Additional testing proved that Lemon Paradox in a Can had been a college favorite since 1964.
- "I use Paradox in a Can every day, and I hate it."
- "I've never seen Paradox in a Can, and I love it."
- "I've never seen Paradox in a Can, and I still haven't."
- "That isn't Paradox in a Can."
- "Does it come in a Lemon variety?"
- "I have one that implodes, but it doesn't work. Except always, that is."
- "This is not a comment."
- "You are not looking at a comment box."
- "I can't believe it's not I can't believe it's not Paradox in a Can."
- "I can't believe it's not butter."