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“You have till the count of 5 nanoseconds to get off my property before I shoot you. TOO LATE!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Nanosecond


Apple released their iPod, and shortly afterwards, released a new, smaller iPod, known as an iPod Nano. Seeking an effective marketing tool, Apple decided to market the very fabric of time itself, creating a smaller version of the second, the nanosecond. Here, let me use it in a sentence for you: A nanosecond is the exact amount of time it takes a Mac User to start bitching about the scratches on their new iPod nano. One nanosecond is approximately one-billionth of a second. So from the time that you started reading this article to the end of this sentence has been about six-billion nanoseconds, and if you're an exceptionally slow reader, then change that to fifteen-billion. A nanosecond is made up of approximately a bunch of really incredibly tiny parts of a second that I don't know the names to. To get a better idea of the size then see nano. Another meaning of nanosecond is Banana Second or "I want a second banana." Because in certain places in the world, nano means banana.

To avoid confusion, this article is meant to be a nanosecond long (meant to be that doesn't mean it is). You will probably end up more confused than you would have if we hadn't put that. Thank you.


The nanosecond was first invented by the incompetent Albert Einstein, when he was working on his Theory of Relatives. He was attempting to describe the amount of time he could stand to be around his own family. The nanosecond soon became more popular among scientists and other people like that in their scientifical calculations and stuff usually involving atoms and the Periodic Table of Elements.

Things That Are Exactly One Nanosecond[edit]

  • The time it takes Adam Sandler to stop being funny
  • The time it takes Oscar Wilde to think up something quotable.
  • The time between Vin Diesel's filet of children sandwhiches
  • The time it takes it takes Captain Manbitch of the SS whipped to turn on the fan after hearing "I'm hot"
  • The time it takes for George Bush to blame the Middle Eastern population of USA for terrorist attacks or Barrack Obama to blame everything on George Bush
  • a nanosecond
  • The time it takes to realize Owen Wilson's nose is downright creepy.
  • The lifespan of human


A nanosecond is just a really small second. We know this because we can fit 10^17 nanoseconds in a teacup, while for regular seconds, we can only fit 3. This has been proven by a group of well educated scientists in some other country that is not America, because if America had discovered this then it would have been able to fit in a coffee cup instead of a teacup.