Mind control devices

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A generic term for many different devices including the most famous popularly referred to (on da streets!) as the Television, Mind control devices include Womens daily magazines, the day time talk show, 'Magic Eye' pictures (you just need to watch someone trying to do one of those and you'll see what I mean)

The general idea behind all these is to limit (with varying degrees of success) a persons ability to control what they think of and their actions.

Ways to free yourself from these devices include taking a widely available drug called alcohol. The effectiveness of this drug can vary from person to person but most report unusual side effects including a slighhtt slurriring of speaach, feelings of being able to do a matrix style flying kick at a lamp post without injury and thinking that all members of the opposite sex are both incredibly fit and feel the same about you.

Subliminal Messages[edit]

There are many types of subliminal mind control. The common trait amongst all of them is that they operate by bypassing your conscious mind.

Imagine that you are reading a saucy novel while stretched out on a sunny beach in Spain. You are coming up on the climax of the novel and the heroin is in a ‘compromising’ position. Even though your attention is fully on the book in front of you, you look up. Everyone is looking out to sea. Some of them are crying. You look out to sea as well

Did it get more quiet? Did you see people pointing out of the corner of your eye? You don’t know what caught your attention, but some part of your brain recognized that something important was going on. Your conscious mind was reading a book, but your subconscious mind took in everything.

One of the most common methods is known as transference. In a visual medium you would see an example of this whenever the president gives a speech in front of a flag to instill patriotism, how the news shows images of protestors when talking about a hot topic to implant the idea of upset and outrage.

Another common method is association which operates off of a similar principle. The idea here is to link two ideas together in a person’s mind.

Imagine a panel on your favorite ‘news’tainment platform discussing the issue of gun control. 
    One side is calm, they speak in a respectful manner, they display poise and intelligence. They are barely able to speak over the other party, but when they speak they collectedly claim that no reasonable person has need for a gun. 

The other side is loud, the are argumentative, insulting, red faced, speak over the other person, and insult them in a childish and ignorant way. They expansively make all of the key arguments for guns being in the hands of citizens at full volume.

   In people’s conscious mind they may agree with many of the points being made by the pro-gun party, but your subconscious mind is being overrun with signals that tell you that this is not a reasonable person, that they are aggressive, dangerous, and the last person you should trust with a gun. The next time you hear someone make a pro-gun argument, your mental programming will associate them with aggression, danger, and a lack of reason. 

You could do the same thing by talking about GMOs while showing pictures of children with cleft palates.

Classroom Agreement[edit]

In it's original form, the Classroom Agreement is harmless...kind of. But in the hands of a teacher, it can be used to control the minds of any student it comes in contact with.

Mind Control As a Mind Control Device[edit]

The easiest method of mind control is to tell someone that they're being mind controlled by something you oppose. For example, if you tell someone that liberals are trying to control their mind through the media they'll demonstrate their free will by obediently adopting conservative politics and only reading the bible. If you tell them conservatives are trying to control their mind through voodoo rays they'll obediently vote liberal and wear a tiny tin hat.

Disney Channel[edit]


Disney Channel. I will follow your every command.

Your bidding is my life, Disney Channel.

Form an army to destroy Troy Bolton? Your wish is my command, disney channel.

Destroy Troy Bolton. Destroy Troy Bolton. Destroy troy Bolton...

How to free yourself from mind control effects of Disney Channel[edit]

The interesting thing here, readers, is that the only way to stop watching Disney Channel, is to watch more Disney Channel! you will find that you will grow quite weary of the craziness of this obviously mind-controlling channel, then you will revert your attention to more interesting pursuits such as golf or croquet, or say, shark-hunting.

How to free yourself from mind control[edit]

Try the following phrases:

  • Can't you see that's what they want you to think?
  • I can't believe you fell for that.
  • Don't let them tell you what to do!
  • Can't you see you're being manipulated?
  • Don't be a follower.

Of course, now that you're aware of this you're subject to mind control as a mind control device as a mind control device.