Little Annie Fanny
Little Annie Fanny was a descendent of Goodman's Beaver and made a living by selling her ass to dirty old men who, being dirty old men, found her irresistible. They especially found her derriere to be compellingly alluring, so much so that they convinced her to change her name from Annie Beaver to Annie Fanny. She was dubbed "Little Annie Fanny" because, despite her enormous breasts and equally ample bottom, she was petite, even diminutive, in stature, standing just over five feet tall when fully erect.
Publicity Stunts[edit]
As a streetwalker, Annie took advantage of current events of an erotic, sexual, or pornographic nature, being the first one on her block, for example, to streak, flash, and breastfeed in public. A motherless strumpet, she rented a neighbor's child as a prop in this latter enterprise. The fact that Annie was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman and the baby was African-American with dark hair and eyes did not concern the dirty old men whom she'd attracted by this stunt for the simple reason that only one of them remember ever having seen the baby, and, owing to the size of Annie’s bosom, he'd assumed that the infant had been merely "a mole or a beauty mark.”
Bio[edit]
Annie became one of the most successful call girls in twentieth-century America, finally catching the eye of Chicago’s Hu Humper, who published slick, glossy biographical sketches of “influential women.” After he published her life story, in 144,000 monthly installments, she became the butt of a comic strip with a title similar to that of another strip about an orphan who found a sugar daddy in the "person" of pedophile Daddy Morebucks.
Indeed, many people confused the two strips, which has made Annie (Fanny) remark, "The other Annie doesn't look anything like me. She has a terrible perm; she dresses in a cheap red dress; and she's had her eyeballs surgically removed--the bitch is blind--and she's a minor, whereas I'm--well, over eighteen. And I have eyes. And tits. And just look at my ass! How could anybody--especially a red-blooded man--confuse me with her?"
Short-lived Comic Strip[edit]
The comic strip, drawn by Horny Koozeman, was faithful to her, body and soul. Ironically, despite her pulchritude, the dirty old men who hit on her proved verbose enough that, to display their speech, many, huge dialogue balloons were required. The strain of drawing Annie month in and month out (and the need to distinguish her breasts and buttocks from the competing dialogue ballons) finally proved too much for Koozeman, and he had a nervous breakdown. Thereafter, he had to give up the strip to other artists and he himself went to work for a periodical called, curiously enough, Mad Magazine.
Movie Appearances[edit]
Although she never had a talking part in any movie, her breasts did appear as stand-ins for Himalayan mountains in a documentary about Tibet, and, in many cases (all?), the derrieres of actresses who appeared in nude scenes during the late 1970's and early 1980's are apt to be Annie's fanny, as her buttocks were doubles for actresses whose bottoms were not up to Annie's quality.
Rumors[edit]
Although Annie is supposed to have died in 1988, a victim of the Internet, she is rumored to be alive and well, if in hiding, and is said to make periodic appearances. A few dirty old men believe that she has had plastic surgery and is now calling herself Pamela Anderson or, possibly, Paris Hilton.