Hypnotist
(Click here for the gay or female version)
Our story begins as you find yourself walking along a dark and dreary road. You remark to yourself how odd that is, seeing as it is a nice spring morning.
You're going to a theater to see a show, a hypnotism show.
You're going to meet one of your friends there; he always claimed he "Never believed in that shit"
You arrive at the theater, Uncle John's palace of fun, but your friend never shows; too bad, you guys had back stage passes.
As you walk in you see the show is about to begin. The curtains go up right as you're sitting down, and there he is, Marvin the Magnificent.
You watch his show in amazement as he turns men into women, people into monkeys, and all his volunteers into idiots.
The show comes to an end, and you begin to go back stage in a daze. All those flashing lights, and pot smoke[1] reminded you of that time you got abducted by aliens. Now that was trippy!
Back stage, you wait in line for your chance to meet Marvin the Magnificent.
Finally, after waiting for minutes on end, Marvin finally beckons you in.
As you walk through the door he tells you he's been expecting you.
He tells you to make yourself comfortable. Then he asks you if you'd like any tea; you decline. "Suit yourself" he says matter-of-factly, and sits down across from you.
"I've been expecting you" he says. "You already said that" you say. "I did?" he replies. "That's odd, I usually have a great memory"
You converse for hours, well into the night. Finally, you stand up and say, "Well, I really must be going". But as you walk out, you the closet door and a corpse falls out.
"Did you kill this man?" You ask. "Nooooooooooo! What would make you say that?" "The fact that he has a knife in his head" you reply.
"Hmm... He does seem to have a knife in his head, doesn't he? Alright, so maybe I did kill him. But just a little!" He says, "You do know I'm going to have to call the cops, don't you?" You reply, "Well... you see... I can't actually let you do that. So... er..."
"Look into my eyes"
"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" you exclaim, "Oh... nothing" he says as he pulls something out of his coat, "Just go with it."
He begins to dangle a pocket watch in front of your face.
You feel yourself begin to lose consciousness.
And women,
too.[2]
Then everything stops.
Suddenly, you wake up.
Where are your clothes? Your wallet? Where are you? And why do you feel like running around and clucking like a chicken so bad?
Oh wait, it's coming back to you now, there was a party, you were drinking. You're just having a bad hangover.
Marv (he told you to call him that), the show, your friend not showing up,[3] it was all just a dream. A bad, alcohol induced dream.
And you may never know. This has been... the twilight zone
- ↑ Which was really thick, by the way. You had no idea it would be that thick on the Palace's Hypnotism Night. That kinda shit is usually only found on Thursday's Ventriloquism Poetry Jam.
- ↑ This is probably on account of you being a complete pervert, and can never stop thinking about women.
- ↑ Even if it was a dream, you're still kinda pissed at him for that...
~Fin~
Featured Article (read another featured article) | Featured version: 15 July 2011 |
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH. |