HowTo talk:Achieve world domination in a recession

Wow! WTF is going on!!! Bad Shroom is ACTUALLY WRITING SOMETHING!!!! Seriously awesome dude. :-) Someone pass me the smelling salts! Looks like you have the makings of what could be a really cool article here. Make sure you keep it up though, this needs a lot more doing to it but I think it could turn out really well. :) MrN  Fork you! 19:33, Aug 8

Yes, I feel very good about it. I think this can grow to be featured. I just can't do the correct formatting...--Bad Shroom 19:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Well the layout does not look too bad to me right now. It's more actually meat on the bones which we need here IMO. I'm obviously happy to help out with the formatting and such. If you need it later... Let me know. ;) MrN  Fork you! 19:38, Aug 8

Great! i'll add to it now.--Bad Shroom 19:39, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Myocardialinfarction 21:14, September 2, 2009 (UTC) Nicely done, sir! The top picture caption is still making me giggle. I was thinking of 'In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.' => 'Poke out one of your eyes and both of everyone else's.'

Thank you!--Almost Sir Random Crap

Help

Somebody help this artcile!--Bad Shroom 21:00, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

constructive feedback

• can I just say WTF about the first picture?
• First, you'll need a Cardboard Box and some marker

  this this out instead"

  First, you'll need a Cardboard Box and a marker (preferably black, and Crayola brand)

• Now the whole population will bow down to your terrifying and putrid box monster when you only spent $2.99![1]

  try rewording the last bit of this sentence

• Just go to your local gym, put a 4 liter jar in the restroom and wait for 2 hours.

  doesn't quite make sense to me how we get much from there. are we saying that the atmosphere in the restroom is entirely like that, or what exactly? maybe a bit more clear here as that seems to stretch the imagination a bit too much, as well as it is introducing potty humor.

• Division by zero

  I'm not a huge fan of the crossed out stuff in articles, and it doesn't match the wording/style of the article so far

• Using the plan you picked in Step 1, you can threaten the population and force them into making you their emperor.

  your not using the plan to threaten, your are threatening to use the plan.

• Threatening Sign

  too! much! exclamation! points!

• Anyway, if you don't get caught follow through with this plan.

  umm reword or something. Doesn't quite make much sense how one would be caught in the library. Maybe a precaution to avoid being caught would be to say "shhh" like you are in someone in authority if anyone questions what you are doing?

• You may have to put in thousands pf codes and commands like some kind of mutated Jimbo Wales or Bill Gates, but it is worth it

  I think pf is meant to be of, unless it is some sort of acronym or something. Also I don't understand the Jimbo Wales and Bill Gates reference that much, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything

• With 1 billion people with Internet access and constant security checks, you can't help but be pleaded by the public!

  I fail to see how just releasing a virus that it will leave people begging you to be their supreme dicktator for life.

  also the phrase "you can't help but be pleaded by the public!" feels kinda awkward.

  a possibility would be for you to then appear as the 'savior' to help everyone fix their problem, and then they want to reward you with being their ruler kind of thought. The idea behind that is you secretly make the mess, publicly clean it up, and everyone sees you as the hero!

• Now, the government may come to you in many ways. They could break into your house and stun you, black helicopters may come down to you, with agents stuffing you in an airtight bag and bringing you to base, or may simply just nuke you and/or your home.

  umm makes me feel sad. a mixture of run-on sentence and list. Also fails to mention waterboarding (not to be confused with surfboarding).

• Nevertheless, you must try to reason with the government and their philosophy.

  God I love this sentence

• When you are brought to base, such as the Pentagon, an agent will come inside your room and start questioning you.

  "When you are brought to base" try reading that out loud.

  maybe have 'questioning' link to torture instead of why

• Now, remember, even Hitler himself started out small, so begin with a few small countries you want control of, such as Nigeria or Belgium.

  another good sentence that makes me excited. Maybe you could add in that one should not start with a country that is totally insignificant and/or has no army, such as (insert country here) <- pick a country, just please don't pick france, it's overused.

• use your weapon on the base

  the -> their ?

• I am talking about taking over France! Sure, their army is very small, but that's because they're pussies, which is actually good for you!

  maybe remove 'pussies' as we only have bad language once so far, so another again so close doesn't match the tone. Also the first profanity had some nice humor to it with the footer/note thingy.

  another thing would be to qualify why one would want to take over france! right now it seems pointless, as france is just pussies, and frankly that would make them a pain in the butt to take care of. Maybe mention that france uses the Euro (I think, haha) so having control over a country using the most powerful money in the world will help you afford more weapons, larger armies, more luxary items, etc (or if france doesn't use the euro, it has to be a step up over the money used in the country you first took over, and would still help one afford better things)

• Okay, now that France and most of Europe is under control

  when did the 'most of Europe' part happen?

• Besides, even if they an army of

  read this out loud once (or more times if necessary :P)

• Maybe you could try mentioning the middle east? an idea that could work to remove them (as they are too much work to keep from fighting like babies) would be to arm them all with nuclear weapons! While this may seem counter-intuitive, as long as you make sure the nuclear weapons are firmly attached to short range missiles that can only reach other middle eastern countries. Ahh, I see the light in your eyes! now you know why giving them nuclear weapons can only be a good thing!
• I have a plan....until now

  1-2-3-4 I declare a tense war! try to clean up that sentence so that we don't have a tense war. they tend to leave blood stains on the carpet

• Yes, I can no longer help you. I know, but I was just here to guide you taking over the world.

  While I'm not entirely in love with the abandoning the guy at the end, I will respect your artistic freedom to take this article how you choose. I will, however, state that I would have loved to see your ingenious idea for how to take over the nuclear countries.

  Umm excuse me, but just here to guide me in taking over the world would include guiding me through the 'last level'! try to reword that as a better reason/excuse that you are quitting on me now.

• Well, have fun taking over the three most nuclear-armed countries!

  most nuclear-armed countries doesn't seem like it is quite correct grammar or something try to rephrase that

• Oscar Wilde's Detention Center for the Criminally Insane

  please no in jokes! maybe you are specifically in death row?

• violent rape.

  umm ruins the seriousish atmosphere we had going

• Wow. You are an evil bitch.

  unless you really love this as your ending i'd say to kill it, as it doesn't quite fit.

That concludes this session of the review. Please contact me on my talk page with any questions/comments you might have! I will assume good faith and change my vote to a for. (done) sincerely, -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 20:04, Oct 10

failed vfh

don't worry about the failed vfh. and it's at least quasi-featured (according to moredildo's edit). it'll change once you do a couple of revisions! -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 21:25, Oct 10

As this has now failed for the third time, I recommend moving on and writing something new. We all have our articles that will never be featured, try writing something new rather than placing everything on a single article. Also, it's not Quasi Featured.~ 21:28, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

ooohh someone was naughty and added quasi-featured! sorry for attributing that to you Mordillo. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 21:34, Oct 10