HowTo:Make good posts on a forum

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Making good posts on a forum should be the goal of every nerd's life. You know a post is good if a lot of people respond to it. If no one responds to your posts, you should probably die. However if you want to live, this guide will teach you to make clever, noticeable posts.

Way to Make Your Posts Noticeable

There are two things that attract everyone's attention: Naked people and comedy. Naked people is out because I don't want to be responsible for encouraging all of you to make dirty posts on forums. However if you want to do it on your own accord I thought you should know there is absolutely nothing I could ever possibly do to stop you. I'm just saying that I believe I speak for everyone when I say I do *not* approve of that behavior and would *not* feel any pride and I do *not find that the least bit funny and I would *not* have no regrets for making it blatantly obvious that despite my words I would find that hilarious and I am *not trying to condone that harmless crime and I *do* believe that is totally evil/sick/disgusting/immature.

Comedy

Now that I'm done telling you why *not* to use naked people in your posts, I will discuss a MUCH healthier alternative. Comedy. There are many types of comedy because comedy is a complicated thing. Some famous types of comedy are satire, excessive repitition, irony, giving evidence of something insane, and parody.

Satire

Satire would be best defined as a way of ridiculing humanities flaws and shortcoming. It is generally accompanied by sarcasm such as in. Since we at Uncyclopedia do *not* encourage satire (especially the sarcastic type)either and you will*not* find satire here, I will not give you an example.

Excessive Repitition

Excessive Repitition is just that: something is repeated so many times it becomes funny or ridiculous. This is another type that I will *not* demonstrate, because, as you can no doubt figure out based on articles such as AAAAAA and All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, we at Uncyclopedia also harbor a fierce grudge against excessive repitition.

Irony

Irony! Now there's some good, solid, comedy. The problem with irony is that it is often confused with coincidence. THEY ARE DIFFERENT!!!! Allow me to use an example. If for whatever reason someone like oh I don't know, Paris Hilton had to get somewhere via airplane and thinks the airplane will crash. Now, this can go a few ways: some coincidental, others ironic. If Paris decides to drive to avoid the upcoming crash and the plane does indeed crash, it is not irony, it is a coincidence. If (and I know we all hope that this does *not* happen) she goes and it does crash, it is still a coincidence. Now let's says she does indeed opt to drive and the plane doesn't crash. It's not irony yet, but it could be. How you ask? Let's just say that situation stays (and I know once more we hope this does *not* happen)Paris drives rather than flies and the plane gets there safe. The final ingredient for it to become irony is, of course, for a different plane to crash into Paris' car, killing her in the process. That is ironic because she would have been safe had she followed through with her plan.

Giving Evidence of something Insane

Giving evidence of crazy things is also fun. I can't think of anything crazy, so I'll just give evidence that our vice-president,Dick Cheney, is a mass-murderer.

1. He owns a man-sized safe
2. He insists that war is a good thing
3. After seeing a device that causes people to perform a task on pain of death he stated "Damn I need one of those!"
4. He has a penchant for shooting old men in the face
5. Statistics show that someone is shot by Dick Cheney every 24 minutes
6. Every document that could possibly incriminate Cheney is in his private library
7. He is frequently found passed out from alcohol with blood on his face near corpses with their stomachs torn open by human teeth
8. His bedroom contains over 700 human hearts and he somehow manages to "acquire" a new one each week
9. His biography is considered Top Secret
10. His lair cannot be found on GoogleEarth

Parody

Parody is simply altering something slightly, but in a way that the meaning is very different. I'll now do something that all of youhave *not* thought of: Turn the song Scars by Papa Roach by connecting it to something emo.

I cut my wrist open, 'cause of lost love
My blood shows me I have a heart
And my scars remind me that our love was real
I cut my wrist open to prove I feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
I just don't wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you left me now
Why don't you just come home
You don't understand my pain
You're the only girl I want
Without you I'm insane
All I can say is

I cut my wrist open,'cause of lost love
My blood shows me I have a heart
And my scars remind me that our love was real
I cut my wrist open to prove I feel

Hope you'll mise when I'm gone
No one can give me advice
Lost you and my boyfriend Ron
That leaves me to suicide
I considered drowning in the water
There's no god to be my guide
Instead I'll just cut my wrist
'Cause no one understands

See? No one would link that song to emoness. I did that with a parody. Hope this guide leads you to post clever posts of comedy and *not* naked people.