HowTo:Kill mold on food
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So one beautiful day in New Jersey you buy some bread and make a sandwich. You leave it accidentally forgetting to eat it. 1 day later, you realize you left bread there you run there and then it's full of mold. Now you have to dispose of the beautiful sandwich. What a sad story.
For thousands of years, it was thought to be impossible to revive foods that mold has taken hold of. But now, humanity has discovered a way to get rid of all the mold on food. Now not only do you get the mold but you also get the toxins with it as well.
You Will Need[edit]
- Bleach
- Vinegar
- Ammonia
- Windows Vista
- Error: a team of highly trained monkeys caused this error.
Method One: Kill Mold Using Bleach, Vinegar, Ammonia, and Nitrogen[edit]
First, grab your spray bottle and put bleach, vinegar, and ammonia in it. WARNING: HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH, DO NOT ATTEMPT. Now take your spray bottle and spray your mixture on the moldy food. Leave it for 15 minutes, come back and the mold is gone!
Method Two: Using Windows Vista[edit]
First, go to Start menu and type in "cmd" (without quotes). Right click on cmd and select run as administrator. Now in the cmd window, type in
kill mold on food <moldy food goes here>
, replacing <moldy food goes here> with your moldy food (e.g: bread, strawberry, cake, and mom). Press enter and the mold will magically disappear in a few seconds.
Method Three: Using Anti-Lemon Juice[edit]
Take some ordinary lemon juice and then add 1-2 cups of antimatter to it. Shake it up real good. Take the resulting anti-lemon anti-juice and pour it onto the moldy food. The mold will be poisoned by the ALAJ and will die.
Method Four: Knife + Pliers = Kniers[edit]
Take some needle nose pliers and GENTLY pry out the mold, and use a knife to cut out the moldy part, Now treat that part using one of the three methods above, and then add, Remember though, that the center of the food will be inedible due to mycotoxins 1 vigintillion times deadlier than cyanide.
Method Five: Kill Mold Manually[edit]
You will need: a gun and some bullets. What you want to do first is to dry yourself in a drying machine. You won't die, and you will be shrunken. Make sure the machine is close to your moldy food. Now once you get to the moldy area in the food. grab your gun and shoot the mold in the face. Repeat until the mold is gone. Then take the dead mold and dispose of it in outer space, landing on Gliese 581 c, but only in the end of time.