HowTo:Deal With A Problem In 3 Basic Ways

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Whatever you do, don't panic.

Every problem has multiple solutions. It's just that not every solution is as simple as it is presented. Nor are all the solutions acceptable to the parties concerned. Therefore every problem presents solutions which breed more problems. It is entirely up to the convergent thinker how he or she should deal with the matter while considering the consequences or despite of it.

For instance... what if your computer suddenly crashed in the middle of the most important thing you were doing in your life (or your cyberlife for that matter), resulting in the possible corruption of files or permanent hardware malfunction? OH NO NOT MY Collection of BARELY LEGAL SERIES! OH NO NOT THE CHAT LOGS FOR THE CYBER SEX CHANNEL!!

  • Solution number 1: Try to fix the problem if you have the necessary skills, or have someone do it for you.
  • Solution number 2: Grumble, grumble, curse and scream until you finally feel better enough to decide that it's not really worth the aggravation.
  • Solution number 3: Grumble, grumble, curse and scream.

These three examples are just the basics of solutions given to you if presented with a mind wracking form of problem such as the one above. There are other solutions, but those are far too advanced and too tiresome and just too goddamn boring for me to write down. Maybe some other time...

Identifying and understanding these three basic solutions will help you to deal with, solve, and most importantly, curse at with all your might and all your bleeding heart and all your knowledge of your native language, the root of the problem. It also helps if you have the strength of will and vocal range, depending on which solution you choose.

Three Basic Ways to Deal with a Problem[edit]

Solution #1[edit]

If you choose solution number 1, then you are thinking in what is possibly the most likely thing any human being will do, which is possibly the most predictable way of thinking. It's also the best bet if you want to fix the problem in the safest way. It could also be the most boring way to deal with the problem.

Solution #2[edit]

Solution number 2 is probably the most efficient way of solving a problem such as this. If you can't fix it... screw it. In any case that takes care of the problem. You won't have to worry about the damned thing anymore. The only thing you’ll have to worry about is the promise you gave to your friend, when he gave you all his lifetime collected porn videos, since he had no more extra disk space on his PC, and that all his files were now in good hands. Apparently you were too dumb to realize the consequences, when you were drooling at the 10 gigabyte smut compilation. He'll probably kill you... but that in itself is another problem.

Solution #3[edit]

Solution number 3 may be the most abnormal way of dealing with a problem, but what, pray tell, is normalcy anyway? And you could counter with the question, 'is this even a way to solve problems?' Of course it is... It not only solves the problem in an unusual way but presents lots of opportunities to breed other problems which drown out the original problem. First, when you grumble, it immediately sets the tone for the next stage of the process. And then you work it up over and over again until you feel like cursing the stupid thing. Cursing helps the problem become identified in which it becomes easier for the solver to think of murderous ways to satisfy oneself. When thinking occurs through cursing, it becomes louder and louder, in your head and/or the rise of your vocal volume. It eventually becomes a scream and then you realize that you are no longer thinking of anything at all except the death of that goddamn PC.

Solution number 3 might seem somewhat similar to Solution number 2, but that's only because I am taking my sweet time in writing this and that you are probably an impatient person. Ooohh I'm so scared...

So anyway... Solution 3 presents multiple choices. It is basically a proactive or you might also want to call it aggressive type of solvent (depending on what kind of a person you are), whereas Solution 2 suggests indifference. Solution number 3 provides the solver multiple choices on which newly bred problems he or she would like to tackle after having solved the root problem. For example, if, after having screamed, you immediately think of bashing the monitor in with a two by four and then acting upon it (or you could kick it around the room as a spur of the moment creativity sparks your boiling head), you think of throwing it through the living room window of your neighbor, and then actually doing it. OR... you think of tying it to the back of your car and driving around town where people will notice you and think you have finally met the tooth fairy face to face. All this leads to the newly bred problems such as prison, mental asylum, wandering the streets like a bum etc, etc and so on and so fuckin forth. In any case, this solves the original problem.

Now, think which of these choices suits you best... and then just go do it. But as a side note... you can also be creative yourself and combine any two (or even all!) of the three basic solutions. Like maybe you could simply scream all you want and then have the sonofabitch fixed anyway. Or you could try to fix it... and if it's unfixable... scream your head off...

Or you could even cry like a baby...

Or you could just bash it with your own head...