HowTo:Boil a frog

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Add water and heat up.

Frog boiling has entered the English language via Noam Chomsky as a trope to signify that humans act like amphibians when it comes to a blissful unawareness of a perilous position. They fail to notice that their bath of cold water has turned into a boiling kettle.

However, boiling a frog is something that we should all try, if even only once. It isn't as bad as boiling a bunny or other household pets. Frogs are not cuddily.

Cooking Methods[edit]

Take a saucepan, fill it up with water. Go into a garden and look for a frog. It helps if you have running water somewhere in your garden. You are advised not to cheat and come up with a toad instead. Now place the frog in the saucepan and place the contents on a cold hob.

The frog will be happy, if confused. Now light the ring or turn on the electricity. The frog will look at you puzzled. It may say 'ribbit' or sound like a man trying to cough with an impediment in their windpipe. Then it will start croaking. This is when you are advised to screw the lid on. Leave for next 20 minutes.

Prepare bread and bring out all your condiments. The frog will now be thoroughly cooked. If you are French, you will only eat the legs. Other countries will eat bits and pieces.


A boiled frog will go very well in a Caesar's Salad. Just remember to cut off anything that some squeamish diners may object to like say the head or webbed toes. I can also suggest reading Noam Chomsky's Guide to Politically Correct Cuisine to get a fuller understanding.