Headbutt
- Note: Before taking up this sport, see a doctor, or if you're blind, just visit one.
Headbutting is a quick thrust of the head, with the power being transferred from the neck to the front of the head, and in turn, destroying your target and your own face. One other easy technique is to charge at your target with the top of your head facing them and looking at the ground with your spine completely parallel to the ground. The best place to hit your enemy is in either the groin or stomach, thus leaving them prone. There is no name for this one and there is no equation as of yet, but it works none-the-less.
The ancient Chinese art of headbutting has been passed down from father to son for over eight hundred billion years. The art is a cross between a fighting technique and a way to overcome the pain of getting smashed in the face with a semi-trailer filled with bricks (which is the final test). Although there is no proof, Chinese historians believe that a man who has trained himself enough with this art, that man could have the potential to defeat Chuck Norris, though this is highly unlikely. The basic move is called the Kohishi Damen Hakarumona roughly translated to Drink more grog, and accuratly translated to Give yourself brain damage.
Accidents[edit]
There are many head butting "accidents" recorded in history but the most notable his in the Mak-Daddy's (aka the Lukewando Master) autobiography which he describes in this text.
"I was fighting the Karate master of Japan and he found out how to block my wind mill move. Since I was young at the time I didn’t have many other moves with the exception of my improve fighting and the near kick to the face. Then I remember when I was a young boy in the tunnels of the mole men of China. They taught me the art of head butting but told me never to use it because I did it with such force that I would cause the opponents brain and any people watching brains to explode from the side ways in. Since I was young I didn’t care I just wanted to win. As I ran towards the Karate master I yelled out head butt and struck him with such force that his brain and any one else watching brains exploded from the side ways in."
About 5 peoples brains exploded from the sideways in that day. Now there is a holiday in China called Butting of the Head which is dedicated to the Lukewando master's EPIC head butt which was delivered that day.
The first ever headbutt was in 1998 when some random Argentinen Soccer Player was mad he headbutted a Dutch Player Edwin van der sar as he didn't know it was coming.
History[edit]
To the naked eye, headbutting may seem to be somewhat of a brutal, nefarious act of passion, as both the butter, and buttee are harmed in the process. This assumption is splendidly correct, in that neither achieve greater heirarchial status, nor do they achieve really anything at all...that is, except in the case of the Mak-Daddy (for obvious reasons)
Throughout the centuries, the butting of the head has seen its share of triumphs, hardships, and misfortune. It has seen the likes of television through the eyes of Beavis and Butthead, and has snuck its way into many a Jackie Chan movie.
But it's not just television that headbutting has seen the light of day, no no.
Make no mistake, Headbutting has had its taste of various other forms of publicity...good and bad. It all began back in the late 20's, in a hidden Japanese training facility. A one "Mak-Daddy", betrothed to another, and forbidden to act as he pleased fought it out with Karate master Quan. Halfway through the intense battle, The Mak-Daddy whipped out the unthinkable....the nefarious headbutt!!!?!, causing the master, and 5 others watching the intense clash of titans, head's' to explode from the sideways in.
A one Seamus Peabody, lucky enough to avoid the explosion of the brain from the sideways in, sought the local radio-station..owned by his sister, Uncle Frank. From there, the tell-tale story of this brave lad, and the courage to defy a legion of bloodthirsty Britney Spears fans, hit the airwaves with such an intensity that it reached the U.S and North American continents within seconds.
Upon his arrival home, to the small village of K, the Mak-Daddy was met with the utmost uproval of the village people...literally. But such a joyous occasion was never meant to last, and the ring of power soon found it's way to the unlikeliest of creatures...a Hobbit, named Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. The Mak-Daddy set forth upon himseflf to retrive the ring of power, and keeper of the small ville from unseen danger, from the little Bastard out of Kansas. What the Mak-Daddy did not see, scathed him greatly in the years to come...
General[edit]
A headbutt is a strike with the head, typically involving the use of robust parts of the cranium as area of impact. Effective headbutting revolves around striking a sensitive area with a less sensitive area, such as striking the nose of an opponent with the forehead. A misplaced headbutt can cause more damage to the person performing the headbutt, than to the person receiving it. Headbutts can be used from close range such as from the clinch, or on the ground. They are typically applied to the head of the opponent since the head is often a readily available target, and has several sensitive areas. An effective headbutt can be performed with a forward, rising, sideways or backwards motion; each being effective from different positions. Parts of the cranium with thick bone and high local curvature make for good weapon areas, and these include the forehead near the hairline, the outboard curved part of the parietal bone, and the occiput. Ideal targets include the bridge of the nose, the cheekbones, the hinge area of the jaw, the temple, and the top edge of the eye socket. Hitting the opponent's teeth or mouth is likely to cause mutual damage. Headbutting is considered an illegal technique in nearly all combat sports, with a few exceptions such as Burmese boxing and mixed martial arts competitions such as Finnfight. The reasons vary from general inappropriateness to the sport, or technical reasons. Headbutts are prone to cause lacerations, often deeper ones than from punches, and may lead to both fighters sustaining concussions. Even though generally banned in sport application, several martial arts and self-defense systems do however include headbutting in the curriculum. In some rare systems, such as Eritrean Testa, headbutting is of major focus.