Free software

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“Free software is the right of all computer users........ Unless you're Bill Gates.”

~ Optimus Prime

Free Software is a fruit that can be found on the GNU tree. Richard Stallman discovered the GNU tree in 1984 and Linus Torvalds figured out how to remove the Kernel (known as Linux) from the Free Software Fruit of the GNU tree. Free Software will run on almost anything, such as a street, a beach, a highway, a whirlpool, acid, and even an aircraft runway. It is very soft (which is why it is called software), and does not bounce if it is in Antarctica. The core of the free software fruit is filled with free beer, but there have been reports where it is filled with mango-banana frothy fruity juice. (Not to be confused with the core of non-free software which is filled with rocks.)

Bill Gates was caught trying to burn the free software tree. He was caught before any damage could be done.

4 Basic Freedoms[edit]

There are 4 basic freedoms of Free Software.

  • -1. Freedom to pick the fruit.
  • 0. Freedom to grow your own GNU tree from the Linux Kernel in the fruit.
  • 1. Freedom to drink the Free Beer (or Mango-Banana Frothy Fruity Juice) inside the fruit
  • 2. Freedom to change the fruit and share the Free Beer (or the Mango-Banana Frothy Fruity Juice).
  • 3. Freedom to add other basic freedoms in the 4 basic freedoms list.
  • 4. PROFIT!

FSF EULA[edit]

This is the official End User License Agreement (EULA) for Free SoftwareTM, the proprietary branded online digital service and the Website provided by Richard Stallman, a subsidiary of Free Sockpuppet Foundation Inc ("FSF" "Fourth International", "Green Party", "we", "our" or "us"). This EULA is a part of your Agreement with us which also includes the Communist Manifesto, and Terms of Use Agreement which can be read at The EULA that relates to the Software we make available for your use in connection with C, C++, recursion, RAM, and the Internet, whether or not you give a fuck and which can be read at, and, if you are a Registered User, the Registered User Agreement for Any terms that are not defined in this Privacy Policy have the meaning set forth in those documents. We may collectively refer to this Privacy Policy, together with the Terms of Use Agreement, Registered User Agreement and EULA as the "Shackles" or "Yoke" or "Cross". This Privacy Policy is a part of the terms and conditions of the OfficialTM Version of FreedomTM and is legally binding on all users.

See also[edit]