Flynn
Flynn is an American business magnate, inventor of the Game Grid, and CEO of Encom from 1981-1994. He is also an avid bowler, drug enthusiast, and messiah of the imaginary "program people".
Biographical Data[edit]
Born without a first name, "The Dude" Flynn was one of the most innovative game programmers of his era. His now legendary 1976 first person shooter, Space Paranoids, was one of the earliest games to employ artificial intelligence, light sourcing, and polygonal rendering, an amazing accomplishment considering that processors capable of running the game would not be invented for another twelve years. He went on to falsely claim credit for programming Donkey Kong, Mario Brothers, and Dig Dug.
After dropping seventeen hits of black Owsley acid in 1981, Flynn broke into Encom's R&D labs and hacked into the MCP, appointing himself president of the company. He was later found curled into a fetal position, mumbling incoherently about "I/O towers" and "Grid Bugs."
As it turned out, Flynn had introduced a complex virus into Encom's mainframe that caused every program in the system to run improperly and give their users lip. This new operating system was so successful that every other software company on earth began to follow this example. To this day, Flynn insists that programs are actually sentient creatures who wear tight fitting leotards, play frisbee a lot, and worship humans as gods.
He was finally institutionalized in 1994, after attempting to marry his childhood sweetheart, an accounting subroutine consisting of four lines of code.
The First Troll[edit]
Flynn is credited with inventing "Trolling" due to his propensity to screw with people's heads on dial-up servers and BBSs during the early eighties. He pioneered the technique of convincing teenage boys that he was a hot chick and then verbally abusing them to see how much they would take. He would also occasionally confess to being a billionare industrialist, but as he didn't actually believe it himself, nobody else seemed to fall for it either, despite the fact that it was true. At one point, according to the memoirs of Alan One, he had a chart on his office wall that read, "Tards fragged by Flynn" followed by a bunch of meaningless scribble that was presumably meant to be users' handles. Towards the end, Flynn's drug addiction and increasingly erratic devotion to "Tard Fragging" became too much for the stockholders to tolerate. Encom was finally de-rezzed in 2002, after allegations of fraud dating back 20 years were finally proved in court.