Divine Narcotic Acid (DNA)
“Imagination is better than Knowledge”
Divine Narcotic Acid (DNA) is divine because it is found in all His creations, except in the creations of Satan. DNA is narcotic because the very thought of DNA elminiate one's analytical and synthetic thinking capapilities.
DNA was invented by Karl Marx ("Religion is the opium of the masses.") It is invoked ad nauseam by all those who have chosen not to choose. These are people ruled by the laws of nature and whose behavior can be completely understood in the light of the conditioned and unconditioned reflexes of Pavlov's dogs.
The Divine Properties of DNA[edit]
The quantity of DNA each cell receives is small. Yet, when that small quantity is stretched it can tie the earth to moon. All the objects in the holy universe can be tied by stretching the total DNA of a Man. It is of no wonder because DNA is divine.
DNA is an acidic ionic compound. It is a polyelectrolyte. Yet, many (bio)logists thought it should be logically called as a molecule. After all, it the logic of the majority. DNA is a divine molecule. It won't react with other compounds of the body under normal conditions.
DNA is a brand name. It is a trademark. This trademark helps to differentiate DNA from the rest. DNA is available in diverse varieties - small, big, single, double, large, extra large, tight, loose, extra tight, extra loose, spherical, circular, linear, globular, square, cube, paired and unpaird. Typically, this divine molecule will look like anything under heaven.
Under normal conditions it will look a pimp hugging a bitch winding around hip to hip, lip to lip, zip to zip, foot to foot. It has also a dirctionality problem. Wheather it is going to be in 99, 66, 96, 69 orientation - It is a divine secret.
The pH, conductance, solubility, hydrodynamic properties are a divine secret. No devil can understand the NMR, IR, ESR, CD, ORD, DSC, DLS signals from this narcotic solution.
The divine narcotic can withstand temperatures upto 100*c, with stand a force of 11000g, but will break when exposed to UV photons. Alas, again it is a divine secret which is yet to be decoded by the devils.
The properties of this divine molecule cannot be revealed and estimated through any of the physico-chemical method. All its properties can be revealed only through the divine techniques code named as ELECTROPHORESIS.
The Narcotic Properties of DNA[edit]
Once you have the Divine Narcotic Acid, the DNA, you will have the effects of typical narcotics. You can make infinite number of promises. The modified Narcotic DNA can make your penis as lengthy as 50000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles and the Modified Narcotic can also make your partners hole as depth as 50000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles. This narcotic can help you to screw your spouse even if he/she is 50000000000000000000000000000000000000 miles away. But, what about the errection? There is a divine solution to it.
Normal human beings think of doing a natural gene transfer to their spouse. But, this narcotics will make you to transfer your genes to cats, rats, bats, cows, chimpanzee, fish, virus, amoeba. In the divine universe, with the divine narcotic acid everything is possible.
There is no need to buy any clothe to wear. The modified recombined Narcotic will make a dress around you as you desire. The cloth will have a suitable flavour added to it.
This narcotic will make you young forever. Inject it into your body. You can make your spouse just in the test tube and screw here day and night. There is no need to convince a woman.
This Divine narcotic can be injected to the plants and transform them give meat and become a meat tree. Also, it has the potetinal to bring back Albert Einstein and Dinosaurs back into the earth.
No one can see their face without a reflecting agency. But, this narcotic can help you to clone your body and find and realize how you look like.
If you inject this divine narcotic into your body, you will never get a disese. Your boody will produce sufficient amount of drug to fight against the forigen invaders.
In the beginning God does not know about this narcotic. It was discovered by some unknown scientist from the pus cells of his wife's menstruate. Great doctor. Normally, we are not curious about our wives mensturate. Let the younger generation wives demand their husband to smell their mensturate. May be their husbands find some other rival narcotics.
There is another secret behind this molecule. If you plant a mango seedling it takes years together. If you inject a engineered divine narcotic, mango tree will give you 1000000000000000000 mangoes 24hrs after the implantation of the seed in the soil.
No wonder, this narcotic will give you life back even if you die. Inject it.
The Narcotic Network[edit]
It is not easy to find the Divine Narcotic acid in the wild. It is protected inside a double walled cell. To access it, you cannot directly enter it. Either one has to crack the entire narcotic network or else send a signal from outside to inside. There are a number of primary and secondary messengers between you and the narcotic fortrees. The passage of message from you to the narcotic control board is a complecated stuff to understand. People got noble prize for the elucidation of the narcotic network. If I and you work on narcotic network, we will be in jail.
Typical Characteristics of Divine Narcotic Acid Addicts[edit]
The people addicted to the Divine Narcotic Acid (DNA):
- will not be knowing the difference between prokaryotic and eukaryotic cells.
- will need atleast 8 to 8,000 hours to perform a simple arithmetic operation like calculation of molarity of a given solution.
- will always pipette eitehr more than 1.2mL or less than 0.8mL when you ask them to pipette 1.0 mL of a given solution.
- often use terms like auntibody, cooking, SDS, PAGE, GEL, BAND, ELECTROPHORESIS, DNA, KNA, PNA, MNA, RNA. But, they won't be knowing the meanings of these terms.
- will always identify the spectrophotometer as pH meter.
- will always get a flat curve in protein estimation, enzyme kinetics.
- often marry their labmates.
- will have no knowledge on energetics, genetics, statistics, biochemistry, enzymology, bioinformatics, biophysics, biophysical chemistry, bioprocess technology.
- will not be able to read any book on thermodynamics, kinetics, mathematics,
- often talk about various animal houses like NI
HW, National Institutes ofHealthWealth,WHasington Unviersity, Tokyo University, National University ofSBingapore - will ask you - what is meant by 'first principle of science'
- will be knowing the names of the chairpersons of various biotech and pharmocological companies.
- will always prepare a powerpoint slide even to explain who is your wife.
- will not be able to write legible.
- will be able to write only 3 lines in an A4 sheet. In each line, one will find a maximum of 3 words.
- will not be able to write a single sentence in any language without error.
- will reel under identity cris.
- will find 'bio' as prefix or suffix in their email IDs.
- will not be knowing the meaning of the word 'science'
- will often consider that their teachers are misguiding.
- will not participate in any competition.
- will not participate in any debate.
- Will make the 'seminar halls' as theatres.
- will not be knowing the world history.
- will not read daily news papers.
- will purchase and hold several degrees of distiction.
- will always get above 90% marks in the examinatioins conducted by their examiners.
- will not be able to sketch the configurations of the 20 proteogenic amino acids, the 5 NMPs, or dNMPs. Yet, they will talk about protein structure and DNA structure.
- will not be knowing the difference between conformational and configurational changes.
- will ask you what is meant by conformation and conformational dynamics. Yet, they will talk about signal transductions.
- will lack almost everything what every man of science is supposed to know.