Deodorant

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Homeless people gag on the smell of their own body odor.

Deodorant is a versatile stick made of powdery and sticky matter. Its most common use is to mask unpleasant body odors, although some have found more creative uses for it.

The choice: to wear it or not[edit]

This young man is using deodorant as an inhalant. Such huffing will damage his sense of smell, but will eventually get him a product spokesmen gig.

Many impoverished people cannot afford hygiene items such as deodorant. Many affluent people can and yet choose not to wear it. Why smell good if everyone is going to follow you like flies and treat you like a VIP anyway? Many wealthy people snicker as their hired help have no choice but to smell them.

The choice to wear deodorant is, of course, a personal one. Some people feel manly with sticky sweat drenching their clothes on a hot summer's day. Others enjoy repelling others because they'd rather be alone anyway. And sweat removes impurities from the body, so blocking it with deodorant actually makes you less healthy.

Deodorant parties[edit]

Young women attending a deodorant party, all the rage among modern youth.

The newest craze sweeping college campuses is the phenomenon of "deodorant parties". Everyone brings a deodorant product to the festivities and people take turns applying it to each other. The moment everyone eagerly anticipates is the deodorant demonstrations. Each person shows and discusses their choice of product and allows the group to smell their armpits. This activity is followed by the voting and swearing in of the "Speed Stick Queen".

Deodorant eating disorder[edit]

This product is only used by those with "hard core" deodorant eating disorder"!

Although most people are aware of anorexia and bulimia, deodorant eating disorder (DED) is still unknown to many people. Whereas most young people enjoy deodorant and its social pleasures, those with DED cannot. DED stems from an obsession with both bad breath and body odor. Sufferers will often eat their deodorant and place crushed breath mints in their armpits. While such confusion may be difficult to understand, it is sadder still to be in the shoes of a young woman who "scarfs and barfs" her Right Guard.

Deodorant and the apocalypse[edit]

Even terrorists must wear deodorant.
Apocalypse survival kit: Stock up on deodorant for the last days. In the event of nuclear holocaust, you will have party favors.

Deodorant will play a special role in the "last days". Against the sulfurous odor of the Anti-Christ, be sure you have plenty of anti-perspirant!