Welcome to the d20 Uncyclopedia Official Gamebook! Over the coming paragraphs, the creators will explain this complex and usually irrational game to you. So, read ahead:
Your character is you! An avatar to your wit and glory, or an idol to your failures and spamming! You can play the character any way you want, whether you want to bring Uncyclopedia to its knees or bring it to a new golden age. Everything is up to you! You should take especial care to identify closely with your character - to think of yourself and your character as one person. Your character is a real, living, breathing person, and never forget it. If your character dies, you should probably kill yourself.
Your alignment determines which actions you're likely to commit. Actions that agree with your personal philosophy receive a +1 bonus. Actions that disagree with your philosophy receive a -1 penalty.
Your alignment is chosen at character creation. If you wish to play the dice on it, roll 1d10.
- Lawful Good: You write articles. You write them damn well, or at least try to. You're always roving to revert the defacements. You're a bloody white knight.
- Good: Sure, you write articles. You might even do pictures too. But when it comes to defacement, you're not so gung-ho to deal with it.
- Chaotic Good: As a writer, you know what you do and you do it. You make pictures shine. But when someone gets in the way of your edit, you're going to burn 'em. You're going to rip their edits apart. You're going to make sure that they know who did it too.
- Lawful Neutral: You spend a lot of your time just fixing articles. You don't really want too much glory, you just want to keep things rolling.
- Neutral: You're here. You don't do much, but that's what's expected. You'll write every once in a while, but you don't really care for it.
- Chaotic Neutral: So, you read a lot of articles. Make small additions. Some of them quite clever. You're also seeding them with debauchery and filth. You're subtly spreading your chaos.
- Lawful Evil: You write articles here and there, but they tend to have sinister motives. Moving against people. You enjoy tearing into edits with your fangs, to get perfection.
- Evil: Deface artices? Ha! Pansy work! You destroy things. But you do it with art.
- Chaotic Evil: You deface articles. You spam. You blank. You destroy. All this shit and more.
- Blonde: You don't know what you like, but like, you like dolphins.
- Pothead: Your fairy dust made you see an eleven, so you write quotes about Oscar Wilde and the dreaded grue
Remember that actions are not set in stone! Defacing an article for a lawful good reason may negate the penalty! Get creative! Everything has a solution!
So, you've got an alignment. You know what you want to do. Let's do this thing.
Stats are determined by rolling 4d6, dropping (ignoring) the lowest result and adding the three highest dice together. Repeat this five more times to generate six stats, each between 3 and 18. Place them in any order into the following six stats. Then, continue rolling to figure out your age, sex, hometown, race, political views, special strengths/weaknesses, and which Monty Python sketch is your favourite. If you have numbers for every stat, but don't feel satisfied, continue to roll the dice until the urge passes or you reach a perfect roll, then pretend that roll was for the stat you wanted to be the best.
- Literary Strength: You got words. You might have them up the wazoo. Who knows. But you know you can beat down on them.
- Literary Dexterity: You got speed, you got a dictionary and a thesaurus. You can hit 'em where it hurts if you need to, but you need the strength to pull it off.
- Literary Constitution: Your edits are strong. It's hard to cut into them. It'll take a lot to turn you into a weeping wreck. But it can happen.
- Literary Intelligence: You research. You research damn good. And with research, comes pain.
- Literary Wisdom: Sometimes, common sense is a rare thing. When you got it, things are more obvious. The flaws come open, the damaged lines show up.
- Literary Charisma: You can seem like a good guy. Or a bad guy. Or whatever you want to look like. You can make people like you or polarize them against you.
Having scores above a certain level grants a roll bonus.
- 18:+4 17:+3 16:+3 15:+2 14:+2 13:+1 12:+1
Having scores below a certain level has penalties.
- 3:-4 4:-3 5:-3 6:-2 7:-2 8:-1 9:-1
This is where your stats come into play. Do you want to illustrate, write or destroy?
Your class determines your class skills. You receive automatic advantages to those skills, as well as lessened increase costs.
You can write like a mothafucka. You might as well be named Shakespeare or a Million Monkeys. You rock, hard.
- Class Skills: Writing, Captioning
- Key Stats: Lit Str, Lit Dex
- Hit Dice: d10
- Skill Points at 1st Level: (2 + Lit Int modifier) x 4.
- Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 2 + Lit Int modifier.
Requirements: To take levels in Word Warrior, you must have overall modifiers of +3 or more (i.e. when all your modifiers are added you get 3 or more).
GIMP, Photoshop, Paintbrush. They are your bitches (Except for GIMP, which is your, er, well, you get the picture). Your work is beautiful, your name divine. People love your colours.
- Class Skills: Drawing, Colouring
- Key Stats: Lit Dex, Lit Wis
- Hit Dice: d8
- Skill Points at 1st Level: (4 + Lit Int modifier) x 4.
- Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 2 + Lit Int modifier.
Requirements: To take levels in Image Illuminati you must have a Lit Dex and Lit Wis modifier of +1 or better.
You are the protector. You can write, sure, but that's not your job: you shoot shit. You love it too, and so do your people...most of the time.
- Class Skills: Revert, Banish
- Key Stats: Lit Wis, Lit Con
- Hit Dice: d12
- Skill Points at 1st Level: (8 + Lit Int modifier) x 4.
- Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 8 + Lit Int modifier.
Requirements: You may only begin taking levels in Armed Admin if you are already level 10 or are sleeping with the WM (Wiki Master). Armed Admins cannot be chaotic; if an Armed Admin becomes chaotic, they lose all class benefits (but not skill ranks or hit points). These powers are restored as soon as they become nonchaotic again.
You. You're a jerk. But as they say: "can't touch this". If you do your job right, they can't touch you. At all. But sometimes, you get owned.
- Class Skills: Blank, Deface
- Key Stats: Lit Cha, Lit Con
- Hit Dice: d6
- Skill Points at 1st Level: (4 + Lit Int modifier) x 4.
- Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 4 + Lit Int modifier.
Requirements: Hammer Spammers must be chaotic; if they become nonchaotic, they lose all class benefits, but may trade their levels in Hammer Spammer for levels in either Word Warrior or Image Illuminati (but not Armed Admin). If this option is chosen, all levels must be traded in.
Each skill can be used by any player, regardless of class. When making a skill check, roll a d20 and add any indicated modifiers to the roll, as well as your modifier for the key stat of that skill (for instance, add your Lit Str modifier to Banish rolls) and your ranks in that skill (or half of that (rounded down) if it is a nonclass skill). You get (4 + Lit Int modifier) x 4 skill points at first level, and 4 + Lit Int modifier at every level after that.
Banish - (Lit Str)
Banish your enemy to the depths of Hell!
Check: Your Banish roll is opposed to your foe's Blank or Deface check. If the Banish is higher, the defacer takes damage equal d6 + your rank in Banish.
Action: Making a Banish check is a standard action - you can move to a blanked or defaced page and make the check. Making a Banish check as a full-round action gives a +2 bonus to the Banish roll (but not the damage roll).
Try Again:No, Banish checks can only be made once per event.
Special:Banish may be rolled against a Writing or Drawing roll. In this case, the Writing or Drawing roll is doubled.
Blank - (Lit Dex)
Sure, you could just write something new. But blanking is such an eloquent way of showing that you're a jerk.
Check: Blanking checks are made against the Article Value; a successful Blanking check reduces the Article Value to 0. However, blanking an article gives a +5 bonus to the next person attempting a Revert check. Admins above level 5 gain +1 attack against you for the rest of the encounter.
Action: Making a Blanking check is a standard action, but you must make the attack after moving or you lose your move action for the turn.
Try Again: A failed Blanking check may be retried, but you take a -2 modifier on your roll.
Special: You may attempt to blank multiple articles at the same time, but you must add 10 to the Article Value of the highest-value article the blanking is attempted against.
Bush Bashing - (Lit Cha)
Check: Throw this in where ever you want, it doesn't help, but it makes you look like you're politically motivated, and it's certainly more effective than voting!
Action: Bush Bashing can be attempted as part of any creative (Writing, Drawing, Caption or Colouring) check.
Try Again: It's impossible to fail a Bush Bashing check, but you can do it if you like.
Special: No, there's really nothing special about it. Even if your mommy says you are.
Captioning - (Lit Int)
You write captions like a badass. People love 'em.
Check: A Caption roll must be targeted at a Drawing, and is made against the Drawing roll - if you roll lower that this, your caption wasn't good enough. Captioning rolls must be made as the first action of the turn. If the Drawing has been subject to a successful Colouring roll, you gat a +2 circumstance bonus on the check.
Action: A failed Captioning check is a full-round action - however, if inspiration strikes, you only take a move action to make the Caption.
Try Again: Captioning checks, because of the risk of losing a turn, are free to retry.
Special: You may not make a Captioning check on a Drawing you made or coloured.
Colouring - (Lit Wis)
Colours are like candles. Somehow. But you know what to do with your colours.
Check: Compare your colour roll to the original drawing; if it's higher, add one point for each point higher less two, for a minimum bonus of +2. If it's lower, you fail.
Action: Colouring checks, whether successful or not, are full-round actions.
Try Again: No, only one Colouring check may be made per picture.
Special: If you make a Colouring check on your own Drawing you gain a +2 circumstance bonus to the check.
Deface - (Lit Cha)
You don't like the article. But you can sneak something in there to destroy it.
Check: Multiply the check by 5 when attacking an article (as opposed to a userpage). If this roll exceeds the Article Value for the target (or opposed Revert check in the case of userpages), you succeed in your vandalism, costing the Article Value (or user's HP) 1 point for each point that the Deface roll exceeded the necessary value, for a minimum of 2.
Action: A Deface roll is a standard action against an article, or a full-round action against a userpage
Try Again: You may only attempt a Deface roll again if your first was sucessful. Otherwise, you may not attack that target again for the remainder of the encounter.
Special: You may attempt to deface defensively, but this adds 10 to the difficulty. Defacing defensively means that you do not provoke the Admins.
Drawing - (Lit Dex)
You do lines. Tons of lines. Big black lines, little grey lines, whatever. You can do it.
Check: Add the check result to the Article Value. If the check result is less than one-sixth of the Writing Factor of the article, you fail.
Action: Drawing checks are full-round actions (except for Image Illuminati for whom they are standard actions).
Try Again: You may add as many as 5 pictures per article.
Special: If you roll a natural 20, treat this result as a 30 for the purpose of caluclating points added.
In-Joking - (Lit Int)
Euroipods makes you laugh. You copy it on articles that have nothing to do with it.
Check: Remove the check result from the Article Value of someone else's article. You fail if the Article Value decreases to less than 5.
Action: In-Joking checks are full round actions.
Try Again: You can only try again if you are a Hammer Spammer.
Special: Failing an In-Joking check causes you to take 1d6 points of damage.
Revert - (Lit Wis)
The bastards are always doing something. But you caught them this time. Well, time to clean house.
Check: Reverts only clean the latest attack on an article.
Action: Reverts may be made as a free action.
Try Again: Sucessive Reverts may be made (at cumulative -2 penalties) until the last time something useful was contributed. Failed Reverts increase the difficulty by 1.
Writing - (Lit Str)
Your articles shine and people love them. Most of the time.
Check: Multiply the check result by 5. This score (the Writing Score) is the base of the Article Score.
Action: Writing checks take 2 rounds, but require only somatic components.
Try Again: No retrys are allowed unless the page is deleted by an Admin, in which case you take 1d6 damage but may try again with a +1 determination bonus.
Special: Word Warriors do not take damage from having pages deleted, and get an additional +1 of determination bonus.
Quoting - (Lit Int)
“Your quotes seem almost authentic! Oh and most pages have a quote by me!”
Check: Your article value increases by the number of ranks you have in Quoting. The DC raises by 5 for every previous quote.
Action: Quoting is a move action that provokes attacks of opportunity.
Try Again: For every retry you take 1d4 damage unless you are a Hammer Spammer.
Special: Failing a Quoting check causes you to take 1d6 points of damage. You also have a 20% chance of getting eaten by a Grue.
Meme Referencing - (Lit Wis)
Chuck Norris owns at this, almost as much as he does at round house kicking.
Check: Add your Lit Wis bonus to the outcome of this roll. If it is higher than the article's originality check, then it is a success.
Action: Meme referencing is a standard action.
Try Again: You can retry but for every attempt you take 1d6 of damage, unless you are a Spammer Hammer, in which case you only take 1d4.
Special: Spammer Hammers gain +1 to every Meme Referencing Check.
When your WM (Wiki Master) decides you've gained a level, here's a brief process:
- Add +1 to your total level.
- Add +1 to your current class set.
- Spend skill points however you wish. Class skills cost one point, nonclass skills cost two points. Your maximum skill level is your level + 3. You may save skill points if you don't want to spend them.
- Roll for your health increase using the hitdice for your class, adding your Literary Constitution modifier.
It is recommended you give your character two feet, although you may take more. This is likely (10% cumulative chance on d% per extra foot) to confuse your character when he tries to move, but he can move one extra page per turn. You may grow extra feet during the course of play (for example, some weapons in the Insane Admin Weapons Guide give extra feet to their targets).
Combat is accomplished by writing articles. The article's final quality determines the winners of the battle. The length of combat is variable; it may be a real-world time limit, which calls upon the thought speed of the players, a set round-length, which gives the teams a certain amount of time to complete the article, or a score limit, in which the team(s) will race to reach a certain score. In most forms of combat, you are allowed to attack other players without using the Banish or Deface skills; in this case, you roll d20 and add your level and Lit Str modifier to the roll. If this beats 10 + the target's Lit Dex modifier (showing how well they deflect your piercing (or slashing, or bludgeoning) sarcasm)) you deal d6 + your Lit Str modifier damage to them. Players reduced to 0 HP or less either lose hope or are banned - either way, they are out of the running for the article. Methods exist to bring users back from this state but anyone using these methods is generally referred to as a 'dirty necrophile' and shunned by other players - and so we won't describe them here.
Note that all of these combat types are guidelines only and may be modified and combined in any combonation by the WM to suit his needs. If he wishes to make a new form of combat, he may.
Combat (Co-operative Goal)
At the opening of a combat round, each player rolls a d20 and adds his Lit Dex modifier to the result. The Order of Editing (OoE) is determined by on these rolls with the highest going first. The first player may choose to declare the article topic, in which case he/she rolls for a Writing Score. If the player should wish it, they can pass the dice down to the next player. Once the combat finishes either due to the ejection of all players, the expiry of the timelimit or the expiry of the round limit, assuming non-defeat conditions are met, the article is compared to a victory chart, a WM table for that given battle. However, the WM may decide the results as anything of his choice and is not limited to win-or-lose situations.
NPCs may exist to hinder the players, or aid them. How they are used is solely up to the WM.
Combat (Separate Goals)
In this, individual players may have goals for themselves, which may be kept secret. Roll for OoE. From here, the rolls of the dice may be kept secret, between any number of players and the WM, as to the wishes of the roller. One may have to wheel and deal to get their article completed, trading pictures for captions or articles for example. Using the innate Read ability, you may take one round and see the complete status of any other player(s)'s article, using an opposed Wisdom roll (d20 + Wisdom modifier). With the expiry of play, all articles are compared, however the victory conditions are completely set by the WM and are not limited to a single victor or a victor at all.
Once again, NPCs can be added to the mix for flavour.
Combat (Destructive Goal)
Sometimes, it's about destroying an article. In this case, an article will exist to begin with, and must be brought down or completely rewritten to obtain victory.
Glossary of Terms
- Article Score: The sum total of the Writing Factor, the various Drawing Rolls and Caption Rolls.
- Banish Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Banish skill.
- Blank Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Blank skill.
- Captioning Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Caption skill.
- Colouring Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Colouring skill.
- Deface Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Deface skill.
- Deface Factor: The Deface Roll multiplied by four when used on an article.
- Drawing Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Drawing skill.
- NPC: Non-Player Character is any character who is a sockpuppet for the WM. They do his bidding, but generally have written guidelines for his personality.
- OoE: Order of Editing. It is the order in which players perform actions.
- Revert Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Revert skill.
- Revert Factor: The Revert Roll multiplied by four when used on an article.
- Writing Roll: The resultant roll for use of the Writing skill.
- Writing Factor: The Writing Roll multiplied by four.
- Wiki Master (WM): The DM/GM for d20 Uncyclopedia. He controls the game.