Chromosome 47
Chromosome 47, also called the Jon Gene and the Zombie Chromosome, causes the owner to become more likely to be minionised, but also causes the owner to act in a certain way. The owner of the 47th chromosome is often linked to the creation of zombies. An example of this is in the T-virus of Raccoon City, where a 47th chomosome was usd to cause genetic cell regrowth. This also caused the dead to rise from their graves and try t devour the living. But who's counting?
Discovery[edit]
Until the rise of the USSR, the 47th chromosome was simply the nightmare of the everyday biologist. Whenever a zombie epidemic struck, the government attempted to cover it up in embarrassment that they had no idea how it happened. Then in the late 1940s, the USSR started to develop weaponry to compete with the west. Soviet scientists found a new chromosome. When they had harvested enough of it, they moved to a secret volcano lair in Siberia (as all good Russia villains do...) and started to test it on soldiers. To heir horror they found that the creatures they produced were surprisingly simple, and were very adept at following orders. The 47th chromosome, when introduced to those who are not ready for it, produced an increase in strength and a blood lust for the common enemy of the USSR (the USA, minions).
USSR Usage[edit]
The USSR then attempted to deploy a platoon of their C47 Soldiers into a Siberian town accused of harboring American infidels. The test was a surprising success. What was even more surprising was when the C47 soldiers deminionised themselves and spread out into most of Siberia, where they were killed by the cold winters and even more depressing - I mean cold - summers. Stalin found out about this failure and ordered the project to be shut down. The scientists included were killed in the purges.
“What the f***ski? You createdski zombie...skis? You b***ardskis.!”
USSR and USA C47 Talks[edit]
The leaders of the USSR (Stalin) and the USA (Truman) met in 1953, five years after C47 had officially been discovered and tested in the USSR. They met in a secret room in an undisclosed location (Truman's house - the White House) and discussed the application of C47, and its proper usage therein. After a long talk, followed by a short tea break, then continuing with another talk, the two leaders decided that C47 would no longer be officially produced, and it became an illegal substance. Stalin went on to kill all the scientists involved in the production of C47, and then killed all the workers too. Serves them right, eh, comrades?
C47 Smuggling[edit]
Since the talks in the 1950s, C47 has continued to be a banned substance.
This has sparked a sudden rise in the smuggler trade in C47 goods, such as kegs of C47 induction drugs, or the popular C47 organ reconstruction drug. This second drug is one of the more popular choices for smuggling out of the range of C47 drugs experimented with in recent years. The Final outcome of all the smuggling is that a large number of people are now hooked onto what they believe is a mind-altering drug that gives the owner extra strength, when in reality they are addicted to what is usually just crack or heroin. This gives the taker the feeling of extra strength, but shows no real muscular development.
Fake C47 Production[edit]
Many of the mothballed factories that used to produce C47 drugs in the USSR have now been taken over and put under Russian Militia control. This has led to the production of low quality (and low C47) C47 drugs. These drugs often cause horrible mutations in the taker, or just give them the feeling that they are king (or queen) of the world, and then giving them the sudden need for a crackwhore. This sudden lust can also be attributed to the fact that most takers of cheap, low quality C47 drugs are saddos who need that kind of help anyway. The economical effects of the C47 production means that C47 salespeople, or "independant businessmen" as they are known in their own circles, have been linked directly to the economical crisis of the world. And the USA.
C47 Structure[edit]
The chemicular structure of C47 is very simple. It is basically the same as any genetic addition created artificially (by humans). It contains nitrogen, oxygen, carbon and hydrogen. The main difference in it's structure is the over-development of the genes controlling strength and muscular growth, and the under-development of the genes controlling brain growth and feeding.
It's funny 'cuz it's true.