Celebrity Advice/Answer 9

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If you're going out to "forget to pay for" something really valuable I'd suggest a bit of Dutch Courage first. Cheers!

Dear Light-fingered in Liverpool,

First of all, hon, shop somewhere with more class than Boots, for God’s sake. When I go out “shopping” I like Kamofie & Company - that way I always come home with a nice necklace or some bracelets. One day I went to Faberge and came home with an enamelled egg!

And don’t worry about the cops whatever you do. What’s the worst they can do? Arrest you? So you wind up in jail – big deal! Honey, I tell you I’ve stayed in worse places and there are girls in there who can give you some new ideas for what to do with that banana and the hand-lotion. That’s why they call it the Pokey. Honestly, it’s a scream inside - why else would I keep breaking my bail terms?

Gotta go now, Dior is opening a new store down-town and I need to get an outsize purse to take with me when I go.

See ya,


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