Bill Weld

William Floyd Weld (born July 31, 1945) is an American attorney, businessman and Republican Party politician. He clearly isn’t gonna win in 2020, but let’s pretend he will anyway. Weld moved to New York on September 11, 2000 and saw 9/11 a year later.

Political career

In 1990, Weld announced his candidacy for Governor of Massachusetts, to replace the out-going and doofus-being, Michael Dukakis. Weld met Gary Johnson in 2016 and thought “I want to be this guy.” Which is why he is now running for president in 2020.

Future

Losing to John Hickenlooper.