Battle for Dream Island

Battle for Dream Island
Format	Episodes
Created by	Lao Tzu and Sun Tzu
Starring	See Characters
Theme music composer	See creators
Country of origin	China
Language(s)	Simplified English
Broadcast
Picture format	?
Chronology
Preceded by	Total Firey Points
Followed by	Urinary Tract Infections

The straightest BFDI gets.

Battle For Dream Island is a widely acclaimed lifestyle guide for 8-year-olds in the United States made for transgender lesbians, but formerly was a web-animated series. it was created by tweenage chink twins who used their knowledge of Adobe Flash passed down from 2,763 generations (they used Adobe Flash so well they used it before it existed) to make a low-budget knockoff (as the Chinese do) of Total Drama with some poorly drawn line-tool. You can think of BFDI as that piss stain on the wall near the toilet that doesn't go away because Cary and Michael have decided to indefinitely continue the series despite being grown men approaching their 30's.

Plotlessness

File:Announcer.png

Announcer, which was the predecessor to the Playstation 3

The first season is known for its ear-piercing pre-pubescent voices. It was set in an extraordinarily boring and lazy place dominated by grassland and the scorching hot sun, who woefully was not included in the show. It introduces us to some cliche and very original characters. Notice how they are all inanimate objects. That idea came from their crappy elementary school comics. We have the mean character, the nice character, the cool character, the bossy character, everyone may as well be here! (This definitely isn't related to Total Drama in any way whatsoever) The new season came after Eraser moaned about having to deal with Golf Ball and other undesirables and wanted to send them all to the gas chambers. The Announcer, a rejected prototype of the PlayStation 3, conveniently fell out of somewhere in the sky probably because the 12-year-old Huangs didn't know how to begin a show correctly. It went on about this island in Polynesia that all the crackers were going to until Eraser was annoyed enough to accept the offer. He probably would have gotten the island if the nerd of a speaker didn't turn it into a ""contest"". Major quotation marks there. BFDI is one of the most uncompetitive things you can watch. Two teams with retarded names modeled after the Killer Trout and the Screaming Bass (I think?) were formed by Leafy and Pin, the latter of which happened to be a Karen. On March 38th, 1865, 2 or 3 seconds after the show's formation, it was turned into an Algicosathlon. The most forgettable part of the season would come and immunity was introduced (objects that did well in challenges could choose who wouldn't be whipped 2,762 times for bad behaviour). Eventually a flame won but his island was the place where the sun would rise that day (we all know the earth is flat) so it was burnt to oblivion by the sun whilst it was trying to go up.

Battle for Dream Island Again

This insane freak show begins after BFDI ends because the Announcer can and the dumb objects are too gullible. After consulting the people in typical BFDI fashion, the dastardly speaker box chose some (That is, 22) objects to join the new show and everybody else who didn't make it got crushed and their remains were burnt and mixed with the air for everyone else to breathe. Some new contestants made it in. These included a fatass bomb with a hankering for bananas, a rainbow furball everybody liked for some reason, a nerd, A carbon copy of an Inanimate Insanity character (I.I. did rip them off first though) and a cranky donut (no wonder he got out first). This is also the point where BFDI tries to show off how edgy it is by creating "arcs". They're not careful ones, mind you. One was started over a ferris wheel with lava. That's serious. Oh, and Pin gets her limbs ripped off. The blood from the brutal procedure strengthened the red coloring she previously relied on Woody's blood for. BFDIA was canceled/on hiatus for ten years until it was randomly continued exactly 10 calendar years after BFDIA 6's original release date and since then it has become indistinguishable from post-split BFB. In this season there is an odd focus on Pencil's alliance, a mix of unpaid slaves and freedwomen.

Elimination

Elimination is the process by which contestants, one by one, are shoved up the rectum of the host of the season and sent up to the host's intestines. It's basically a carbon copy of the Total Drama elimination ceremony, like everything else about BFDI. Total Drama has refused to sue fearing the onslaught of all the 9-year-olds, who have been specially trained by BFDI on how to fight correctly. At least one object dies on every BFDI episode, after all. Did you know the technique is more effective than taekwondo, jiu jitsu, kung fu, and every other martial arts technique you can think of?

How elimination works is that the viewers vote for whomsoever they simply don't like. Technically, every season besides BFDIA forces you to only vote for one person, but BFDI viewers are experts at cheating because if they don't get their way their typical answer is to cry. BFDIA lets the viewers "like" and "dislike" and you can vote for as many characters UFE (up for elimination) as you like in that season. TPOT is more refined and couth than the other vulgar, unrefined seasons such as BFDI and BFB, and so there you must vote to save. That means that you vote for who you want to keep the most. It sucks but TPOT still insists on it. Why must Brits do this?

In the elimination the safe contestants are revealed and given some sort of prize. It was cake at first but now it could be sheep gizzards for all we know. They keep trying to make the eliminations sound suspenseful which is odd because it always fails, like all of modern BFDI, but whatever. The eliminated contestant then must bear the immense gravity of the host's anus until they cannot take it anymore and are sucked up forcefully up the rectum and in the large intestines. Fitting, considering it's where feces is stored. Except in TPOT, because we have no clue where the eliminated contestants go in that season. If it helps with Two's LARP that he's not a genocidal, destructive monster like all the other hosts then good for him I guess.

Characters

The Characters can be divided into four generations: Idiotic, More Idiotic, Still Idiotic, and Very Idiotic because there are way too many of them and BFDI has made the mistake of letting fan characters in. Below is the maybe-completed list of are the contestants that have, sadly, "competed" on this show. Their assumed personalities are in (parentheses)

Idiotic

1. Pin (doesn't know herself, formerly karen)
2. Coiny (bland)
3. Firey (bland and stupid)
4. Flower (mean, until meann't, then bland)
5. Leafy (bland, then edgy, then bland)
6. Woody (panphobe, then bland)
7. Bubble (no permission to live, bland)
8. Spongy (bland and bullied)
9. Blocky (jock lite)
10. Pen (""""cool"""")
11. Snowball (jock)
12. Ice Cube (bland and weak but randomly became smart after being dumb)
13. Pencil (dumb and cliquish)
14. David (dumb)
15. Tennis Ball (nerd, beta male)
16. Golf Ball (karen)
17. Match (literally valley girl)