Al Blueqaida

The infamous Al Blueqaida is a radical Canadian political group led by the feared and notorious Gille Duceppe, formerly Ossama Ben Duceppe. He is colourblind and sees everything blue. He started his reign of terror in the middle ages when satan was resurrected in human form. He was thus named, Jean Guy d'Abitibi and slowly infested other Quebecors with his odd speech and sadistic sense of humour. He was crowned the ultimate blueneck by the trembling villagers and soon gained supreme control over all of Quebec. He was later renamed Ossama Ben Duceppe by none other than Jimmy Carter. He has become bent on separating from Quebec and forming his own country. This country would be named Blueland and would be a dictortorship ruled by Gille Duceppe.

Laws

Some of the laws of Blueland would include:

• All Bluelanders would be required to drink only maple syrop.
• If English was heard the speaker would be immediately drowned in maple syrop.
• Everything would be painted blue.
• All women must bathe in poutine in order to maintain their appeal to his holyness, Gille.
• Beavers would slowly replace mankind.

Recent Events

Recently, radical Al Blueqaida members have taken matters into their own hands. On March 13th 2006 they took cabinet members hostage and threatened to tar and feather them if their demands were not met. Sadly they spoke with such strong french accents that nobody was able to understand their demands. They also took the House of Parliment under seize, occasionally lobbing large moose at the dwelling. Prime Minister Stephen Harper has threatened to use his laser vision against the perpetraters if they do not stop bothering him. The Governor General quickly gave him his juice box and he calmed down and took a nap.

The Blue Threat

Gille Duceppe's second head, known only as Guy has recently made it public that he will release hoards of rabid beavers, covered in poutine, painted blue upon canada. Liberal spies have uncovered documents that the Bloque Quebecois is actually the codename for a giant mutant monster created using Gille Duceppe's sperm. This is all that is currently known, although it is believed that this has something to do with the Blue Threat.

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