AFC Ajax

AFC Ajax (Amateur Football Club Ajax) is the legendary football (soccer) club located in Amsterdam for over 100 years now. The club's name refers to the Greek warrior Ajax the Greater, known for his brute strength and falling on his sword when tackled in a brutal elimination game against Troy.

History

Feyenoord's message to Ajax, after once again conceding 4 goals in De Kuip.

“I'm opposed to everything, until I make a decision; then I'm in favor of it.”

~ Number 14

“You must score to win!”

~ Number 14

Starting off as a club for Jews, Ajax became the richest, most powerful club in the world after World War 2. After a short period of power in the early 70's, all credited to a mentally incapable person known as number 14, the club fell into a dark hole, which it has not yet climbed out of.

Fans

Proposed new Ajax logo, they are a bunch of gay sailors after all.

Ajax has a large Jewish fan base. They show their support during matches by waving Israeli flags and stealing money. And not eating pork, probably. Two distinct camps of fans support the club. One comprises farmers known as Vak 410; the other comprises elderly shirtless men whose pathetic lives have devolved to backing a football club. However, picking Ajax to cheer means their lives are not cheerful but just pathetic.

Quality

There is a reason non-UK'ers are not supposed to play sucker in the first place, so they can pursue more meaningful hobbies, such as masturbation. When they do decide to play sucker, they suck, more than Paris Hilton would do trying to reenact the Houston 500. They think they are pretty good, but when it all comes down to it, they just suck, which makes them no better at sucker.

Style of play

Ajax has an aggressive style of play. They will kick, bite and scratch like little girls just to get their way. They typically play in the 4-4-3 formation, until somebody realises you are not supposed to have that many players on the field. Then they switch to 4-3-2, but then they fall one short of a full eleven. So, and this happens every game, they decide to switch to 4-3-3, but end up with ball boys and the handicaps being lined up for the game. It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.