Parts Unknown

“Yep, that's where I'm from. Been all over that goddamn place, too.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Parts Unknown

“Grrr! Look into the face of the gods of Parts Unknown and know that they have told me take more steroids! Grrr! Arrrrgh! Owooga!”

~ Warrior Warrior on Parts Unknown

"...And there be monsters in those evile places. Monsters and ladies of the night," said the pirate. "So what's the downside?" asked the kid. "Arrrghh. I 'spose the downside be the lack of good hotels," the pirate replied.

Not much is known about Parts Unknown. If we knew a lot about it, it would be Parts Known, wouldn't it, Einstein?

A Brief History

For as long as we had known, parts unknown had been everywhere but the Continental United States, Alaska, Mexico, and Madagascar. After a long search, scientists found the country of Parts Unknown in the eastern of Europe. At first, they thought they were in Boréliana, so they called the citizens of Parts Unknown Borélians. That's why the language of Parts Unknown is called Borélio till today. After some of the scientists entered the the Snö-Desert, they've never been seen again.

I do know a little about Parts Unknown as I lived there in the 30's, but it may have changed since. Michelangelo

Economy

We can only guess at the economy, which most assuredly is non-existent. We haven't found anything to support a currency for Parts Unknown, so must assume they trade in chickens and bovine, much like our ancestors. At least in the capital Üdenfurt exist some service bureaus. Beside that, most of the citizens spend their money to get wrestling tickets.

Government

The form of government in Parts Unknown is a monarchy. King is Karl von "fuckin'" Üdenfurt. His deputy is his son Prince Berti II.

International Policy

All of them, if they do exist, hate us for what we have, if they know we have it, and want it from us. In the event the uncivilized get to Parts Known from Parts Unknown, there will be war and there will be casualties in the millions. To be captured by the savages is like cutting out your own eyeballs and eating yourself, except now the savages are cutting out your eyeballs and eating you. No quarter will be given. Shoot first. Don't ask any questions.

What to do if you catch a cannibal from PU

• Contact the authorities.
• Wait for the authorities.
• DO NOT free the cannibal.
• Have a spot of tea.
• Upon arrival of authorities and disposal of the uncivilized, collect anything of value from the corpse, and be content, good citizen.

See also

• Parts Unknown (Country)
• Here Be Dragons
• Unknown
• Soviet Russia
• Mystery
• Mr. E