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Article One: The End-user
Section One: User's Authority on Uncyclopedia
You have none. Deal with it.
Section Two: User's Capabilities
You the end-user, ie one who may choose to partake in activities, including, but not limited to the ones set forth here.
Paragraph One: Writing Articles
You, the end-user, having met the following conditions:
- Your contract has not been terminated by an admin
- You have huffed at least 2 kittens within the past 24 hours.
May partake in activities including:
- QVFD-quality Articles
- VFD-quality Articles
- Articles that make User:Gwax angry
Paragraph Two: Vandalism
- Vandalism, in forms including, but not limited to:
- Vandalizing a user page
- Inserting random crap into articles at random locations, including, but not limited to:
- "lol pwnt"
- "YOU ARE ALL GAY"
Paragraph Three: Sockpuppetry/Username Abuse
- Creating sockpuppets
- Lamely offensive, childish (the childishness determined by an admin) usernames, including, but not limited to:
- Note: For more such user names that you may create, please see Special:Listusers
Article Two: Administrators
By reading this text, you agree that any and all sysops, administrators, etc etc, have the abillities, etc described in this article.
Section One: Governing The Average Sheep (You)
Administrators have rights, including, but not limited to:
- Banning you for reasons including, but not limited to:
- Divine message(s)
- They feel like it (Note that this article does not discuss the restrictions on the definition of "feel" in this sense, it is assumed to be broad. infinitely so.)
- Jesus told them to (This is NOT the same as a Divine message, as a divine message can come from ANY omni* figure, ie your common-variety garden Grue
- You did something stupid, including, but not limited to approximately 90% of the capabilities described above in Article 1 Section 2.
Section Two: Administrator's duties and responsibilities
Paragraph One: What they can do
SELECT * FROM `Admins_imagination`;
Paragraph Two: What they may not do
Administrators are restricted by the terms set below, including and limited to:
- An administrator may not, under any circumstances, write a new article.
- An administrator may not ban any user for a period of time longer than "infinite"
Paragraph Three: Exception clause
An administrator, upon satisfying at least one the following conditions:
- They want to.
- They feel like wanting to, but are too lazy to actually want to.
- They feel like feeling like wanting to, but are too lazy to actually feel that way.
- They have a whim to do so.
May thereby ignore any and all conditions set forth above.
Article Three: Disclaimer
Uncyclopedia is not in anyway responsible for harm, happiness, joy, insult, injury, or anything else that may be inflicted or felt, caused by things including, but not limited to:
- An alien invasion
- A grue
- An act of God
- An act of Gawd
- An act of G0d
- An act of Satan
- An act of Jesus
- An act of Adolf Hitler
- An act of YOU!!
- This applies only if you live in Soviet Russia.
- An act of You
- A forest fire
- A forest flood
- Huffing multiple kittens
- Believing material you read on Uncyclopedia
- Not donating large sums of money to Uncyclopedia.
- Being stupid
By reading an article on Uncyclopedia and/or using Uncyclopedia you hereby agree that Uncyclopedia will award you an amount of money equivalent to:
I hereby agree to the terms and conditions set forth by this license: _____________________
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