Uncyclopedia:Content Disclaimer

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In its silly mission of ridiculing all human knowledge, Uncyclopedia contains many thousands of articles on a vast array of topics, some of which contain images, language or other content that someone could consider profane, vulgar or offensive, although others find them humourous.

We have an infinite number of admins locked in the cellar with an infinite number of computers, and they can't keep up with all the true garbage that gets posted here: Vanity crap about insignificant people who think they deserve their own article; Pages of spam from idiots trying to sell you bigger genitalia or their basement band's latest CD of line noise; Incoherent vandalism courtesy of infantile idiots with biological obsessions; the list is endless. At this rate, the admins'll never get on with writing Shakespeare like they're supposed to. As a result, you may stumble across some real trash during your foray here. Don't panic: It's probably already been reported, and will be dealt with ASAFP.

Your parachute, expertly packed by Uncyclopedians.

Reading Uncyclopedia, particularly using the random page feature, is a little like skydiving without knowing who packed your parachute. If you're sensitive, you could easily stumble across something that offends, rather than amuses you. Kind of like pulling the ripcord, and having a shiny brass anvil pop out.

The solution to this problem is, of course, to turn off your computer and maybe go brush the cat, or take up some nice inoffensive activity, such as stamp collecting, raping raising sheep, or perhaps a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War. We are perfectly willing to put articles up for review, if necessary, but if the results of the vote (which you are welcome to participate in,) are not to your liking, don't be a dick. If you truly feel strongly that any article here is offensive (or unhumourous), feel free to edit it, but you'll have to do some actual work to make the article more palatable to you while as, or more humourous than it was before. If you're offended, launching a one person tirade in the Village Dump will accomplish nothing, particularly if you expect the project to remove or radically change a page you dislike. If Uncyclopedia had to cater to the whims of every whackadoo, bleeding-heart neurotic like <insert name here> who happens to drift along here, it wouldn't be Uncyclopedia anymore. Expecting someone else to do the work for you, or delete an article on demand just because you don't like it, just ain't gonna happen. Indeed, what is far more likely to happen if you're not an adult about this, is that, as a reward for your belligerence, you will become our "special friend" "whipping boy" for a little while (hint: you don't want that).