UnSignpost:Interview/Xamralco

Journalist: Hello Mr Mralco! As a prominent Uncyclopedia editor, you should have known that having your name appear on Recent Changes too often might make the members of Uncyclopedia's secret police, who also happen to be Uncyclopedia's main newspaper's editors, want to ask you some questions. Unfortunately, when this is the case, there is no turning back. So, here you go:

1. To begin with, how do you think the one-adoptee policy on Uncyclopedia influences our writers' population pyramid? (Note: this isn't a yes/no question.) Anton (talk) 19:02, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

   Yes. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:20, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

   Oh darn it, I didn't read the small print. That always seems to get you. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:20, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

2. Thank you! Another one: how many articles have you written to support research for cure of deadly diseases? Have you donated any million dollars to the cause? Anton (talk) 19:38, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

   Six and yes. I take deadly diseases very seriously. My grandmother died from one. Also, that was more than one question. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:47, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

   I'm sorry! If you would like to know, my grandmother also died from one, when I was nine. I'll continue with something else if you don't object! Anton (talk) 19:55, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

3. How many questions can you answer, while holding your breath? Have you made any progress in that area since you were first asked that question? Anton (talk) 19:55, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

   I've answered twelve in the past. Let's see if I can break that record. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:00, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

4. We'll test this. The next round is going to be a blitz. Try answering each question as quickly as you can (with your breath held, obviously).
   1. Since when have you been aware of the fact that typing, while standing on your head, increases your overall blood pressure? Anton (talk) 22:27, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

      Since I tried to do it while holding my breath. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:41, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

   2. What 20th century art movement would you associate this dialogue to? Anton (talk) 22:43, September 26, 2014 (UTC)

      It's gotta be Dada or Surrealism... Potato monkeys. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:26, September 27, 2014 (UTC)

   3. OK, I am back and I hope that, as an honest man, you are still holding your breath. Tell me, how surrealistic can you get, while meditating in front of the potato monkeys? Anton (talk) 08:06, September 28, 2014 (UTC)

      I'm sorry but I already died from holding my breath for so long. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:07, September 28, 2014 (UTC)

5. That's a pity. Anyway, thank you for donating your time and life to the UnSignpost and we will gratefully talk about your sacrifice in the next issue, whenever it comes out. Oh, but you can't tell us whether you think this interview is over! Maybe I should continue? Anton (talk) 06:56, October 2, 2014 (UTC)

   How can you continue if I'm dead? -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:57, October 2, 2014 (UTC)

6. You are dead, so your opinion isn't really required, even though there is some fraction of reason there. Anton (talk) 17:01, October 3, 2014 (UTC)