|Poetry for people who hate poetry
Sing to me of the man, Muse, the man of twists and turns
driven time and again to deliver long monologues
before getting smacked by various large objects.
Many cities of men he saw, and learned their commutes;
many pains he suffered, bored of the dang open sea,
fighting to save his life and bring his comrades pizza.
But he could not get delivery, hard as he strove,
as pizza had not yet been invented; the blind fools,
they devoured the cattle of the Sun at McDonald's
and the gods wiped from sight the day of their return.
Launch out on this story, Muse, since Odysseus lived
even though he likely ate a Big Mac or two.
NOTE: This is just the very beginning of The Odyssey that is parodied.
The author doesn't have time to make fun of the entire epic.
Get over it.