UnPoetia:The Rheum of The Ancient Mariner

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(Arranged for fiddle, accordion and albatross)

Well, we cast off for sea
And we vittled the ship,
It was wondrous to see
But I’d knackered my hip

We set off at dawn
And the sea, she was calm
But I stayed below decks
‘Cause I’d knackered my arm

Oh, the sea it is fine
And the wages aren’t bad
But my joints are a swine
And my joys have been had

We met with some pirates
Who flew a Black Jack,
I defended our crew
And I knackered my back

We unloaded our cargo,
Keg after keg
But I dropped the last one
And I knackered my leg

Oh the wages at sea,
As I mentioned, are fair
But it’s time for my pension,
I’m losing my hair

And while I was washing
The deck of our Brig,
A bloody great sea-gull
Flew off with my wig

A storm blew up fast
Out upon the high sea,
I fell off the mast
And I knackered my knee

We were boarded again
And I fought our attackers
And that’s how I finally
Knackered my [all together]

Oh, the sea it is fine
And the wages aren’t bad
But I’d like to get home
With the same bits I had