UnPoetia:Paranoid (Post-Midterm Elections Version)

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The title explains it all.

(Post-Midterm Elections Version)
Finished with my Rummy ’cause he couldn’t not commit a crime;
People think I’m stupid because I use spell check all the time!
All day long, I eat pretzels, but never seem too satisfied.
Think I’ll lose my mind if I don’t find countries to pacify!
Can you help me occupy Iraq?
Oh, yeah!
I need someone to show me WMDs that I can’t find;
I can’t see the things that make you look real good, I must be blind!
Call me names and I will cry, send you to jail, and there you’ll sigh!
Humbleness I cannot feel, and shame to me is so unreal.
And so as you hear these words telling Union of my State,
I tell you to talk correct; I wish I could, but it’s too late.