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Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris, founder of the Chun Kuk Do school of Tang Soo Do Chopsocky, as well as wearer of the 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do, another of indeterminate color for Machado Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, rainbow suspenders for Tai Chi and a white apron in Tex-Mex cooking. Known as "the Bruce Lee of martial arts movies", he starred in films like Missing in Action (1984), Missing in Action II: The Missing Strikes Back (1985), and Missing in Action III: Return of the Missing (1988) before playing a Texas Ranger named Walker on the TV series Walker, Texas Ranger (1993-2001). He is also the author of The Justice Riders, a novel about justices who justly dispense justice, guided by their Conservative Christian worldview (the bedrock principles on which America was founded by the Founding Fathers, who founded America on the bedrock foundation of Conservative Christian principles), as they ride. In 2007, Chuck gave the commencement speech at Falwell's Liberty University. Five days later Jerry Falwell went to the Lord. The two incidents are unrelated.
He endorsed Mike Huckabee in 2008 in his bid for president. In return, Huckabee endorsed him in the All-Texas Chili Cook-off. Norris' entry placed third. more...