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UnColumns:Spy-dair plots revonj. Revonj!

Shocked, are you not? Tell me you are not shocked. Sacre bleu! You cannot. Seet there, para-lie-zid wees fear. I have heep-notized you wees my eyes. Zere iss no ezcape. Oui, we spi-dairs all have Fronsh accents. Also, the Fronsh peoples, they are spi-dairs. Napoleon? Fronsh spi-dair. De Gaulle? Fronsh spi-dair. The, how you say, Vichy regime? Sadly, Fronsh spi-dair.

You thought you had, how you say, "got rid" of me. You thought that you'd szeen zee lazt of me after skweeshing me undair-nees your mug az I szat on your café table, no?

You don't realize juzt how sztrong ve spidairs are. Worse, zat dull look in your eyez tells me zat you don't even remem-bair ze, how you say, in-ceedont? Let me ree-frosh votre mémoire... more...