UnBooks:Agnostic Teenager's Version of Harry Potter

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Harry Potter is, like, the most awesomest book series out there! MAN! You sooooo gotta read it man! I can't believe my really stupid fundie parents won't let me read it man! It's soooooooo awesome dude! Cool! Get rid of all your dumb, boring Bibles and read Harry Potter man! It's the only true guide to life! Fundamentalist Christians are FRIGGIN' IDIOTS man! I hate fundie christians! They're so STUPID! Harry Potter is so AWESOME!!!! I love sorcery and satanism and anything anti-Christian, because Christianity is EVIL! Philosophers and logicists are so GREAT man! Anyone who hates God is GREAT! God doesn't exist and if you think He does you're such a loser! Christians are all LOSERS! I beat up every Christian I see just because they're wearing that really ridiculous-looking cross because I hate any symbol of Christianity because it offends the stupid agnostic, atheist assholes at Uncyclopedia

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Dump[edit]

Harry Potter starts out like, Harry Potter's parents get killed by this really awesome Lord Witchmort who like shoots 'em full of lead and Harry has no parents (lucky him! No one to boss him around or educate him in Christianity! Blast all Christians! they're so friggin' stupid!) Harry has to be taken to his really disgusting Uncle and Aunt, who are just a bunch of crapheads who beat 'im up. So he like gets this letter from this really dumb owl and he goes to this Warthead's School of Witchcrap and Wizardry! It's so friggin' awesome! He gets on Platform 666 and goes to the school and learns how to summon demons and they possess him and he becomes this Shade...wait a minute, that's that stupid aragon. No wait, he learns how to use witchcraft and blows up the whole school because of the atomic bomb that Lord Witchmort dropped on it...ha ha! Harry then marries Lord Witchmort and appears in stage musicals in the West End!

Harry Potter vs. Godzilla[edit]

I really so like this one, dude! Harry Potter is out ridin' his sweetso broomstick and then he flies into Tokyo where he sees this really big dinosaur beating up on the city, so he like blasts him with all these fireballs but that's pretty much the end of the series because he gets fried. So awesome man!