23 (number)
- For the year, see 23.
“"I can take him."”
“"We're just friends! Honestly!"”
“"WHAAAAAA!!!!! NOOO!!! NOT THAT NUMBER AGAIN!!!”
23 is the all-natural number following 22 and preceding 24. It is noted in arithmetical studies for being the most self-centered of the set of whole numbers. It's significance is widely debated. Many believe in a theory called The 23 Enigma, which reveres 23 above all other numbers.
History[edit]
23 was created on the sixth day of genesis when God sneezed, expelling 23 from His nose. 23 lived in Eden with Adam and Eve, having several threesomes with them (there is religious debate on how many times the three did it. Either two or twenty). 23 was expelled from paradise after eating a banana offered by Satan. After that, 23 was forced to try to survive in the natural world. This was not easy, especially considering the presence of several larger predators, such as 46, 52, and the especially ferocious 57. However, 23 soon found the ice bridge to North America, and flourished in the New World. Today, 23 is everywhere.
Religious significence[edit]
23 is hailed as an important religious figure in certain branches of Protestantism, most of them based in northeastern Peru. Priests in this area regularly refer to "the father, the son, the holy spirit, and 23." They believe that the Apocolypse will come in the year 2323, and when it does, Jesus, Satan, and 23 will have a three-way battle.
Lovelife[edit]
23 had a long standing relationship with Micheal Jordan, although rumors that they were friends with benefits remain officially unconfirmed. Since Micheal Jordan's career ended, 23 has reportedly been romantically involved with Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton's dog, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Itchy Clinton(the clinton family gerbil), Donald Rumsfeld, Janet Jackson, Tony the Tiger, Ronald Mcdonald, and Jim Carrey.
Movie Career[edit]
23 is the star of a recently released movie, called the number 23. The movie features a brief cameo appearance by Jim Carrey. In the film, 23 becomes obsessed with Jim Carrey. Everywhere 23 goes, he sees Jim Carrey. Soon, 23 is so obsessed with Jim Carrey that he spends every waking moment of his life writing Jim Carrey's name all over the place. Even though the movie was only just released, 23 has already been nominated for 4 academy awards for its riveting performance.
Political activism[edit]
The 23 party has been steadily gaining popularity since it was founded in 1923. The primary goal of the 23 party is to get 23 elected president. Interestingly enough, a recent poll by FOX news revealed that 82% of Americans would vote for 23 if the election took place today, as opposed to 5% who would vote for God, 3% who would vote for Hillary Clinton, 3% who would vote for John Mccain, 3% who would vote for Oprah, and 2% who would vote for Prince.
Fun Facts[edit]
- 23 is the largest number.
- If you take the number of times the Movie The Number 23 makes a ridiculous stretch divide it by the number of movies that Jim Carrey's in, round up, and add one for good luck, you get 23... My God...
- 23 reveres itself as God, and has published its own Bible, available in shops near you in both hard and softback editions.
- Nobody really likes 23.
- 23 is the only known num-num that is divisable by 0. This was invented by George Bush and MacGyver during the late 15th century.
- If you have a dream about 23 and 5 at the same time, a parallel universe will be created which swallows you.
- River Phoenix and Shelley Long were born on August 23rd. The former is dead and the latter is not Kirstie Alley even though they were both on Cheers at separate times.
- All awesome people are born on the 23rd of June.
- 23 has started his own official website that, according to a recent poll by Time magazine, beats out Google, Yahoo, Youtube, and even Uncyclopedia as the greatest website ever created.
Warning[edit]
Reading this page is dangerous to your health and should be avoided at all costs.
By the way, if your reading this, you have 23 e=h*er's to live. You decide what this says, and inform your doctor as soon as possible.