The answer to How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

So, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? To answer this question, a humongous group of scientists and mathematicians gathered around a huge table and talked and talked and babbled and spoke and muttered and mumbled and blabbed and chatted and drawled and uttered and gabbed and yakked until they came up with a solution.

a woodchuck, not chucking any wood

The answer

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

MEH

${\frac {wood}{would}}+(woodchuck+woodchuck)chuck+{\frac {woodchuck}{could-chuck}}=wood$

But if a wood chucks woodchucks, woodchucks chucked by wood wouldn't chuck, and being chucked, woodchucks would chuck negative wood.

${\frac {wood+chuck}{woodchuck}}=-wood$

The conclusion: We are dealing with imaginary wood. ${\frac {wood+chuck}{woodchuck}}=I^{2}wood$

Chuck

If Chuck chucks woodchucks chucking wood, woodchucks are still chucking wood, so wood chucked by woodchucks unchucked by Chuck is the same as wood chucked by woodchucks chucked by Chuck. Now if Chuck were made of wood, and the only thing he chucks is wood, then he would be a wood Chuck chucking wood. Of course, wood Chucks are the same as woodchucks. But if Chuck (made of wood) could chuck woodchucks, it all depends on whether woodchucks chuck wood. Chuck Norris doesn't often chuck either wood or woodchucks, preferring to roundhouse kick them instead, but he could.

The Experiment

So now some guy, he takes a woodchuck (which, by the way is named Woody, can you believe it?) and he gives it some wood, to see if the woodchuck chucks it. But the guy kept on going "come on woodchuck, chuck the wood, you can do it, chuck the wood," which ticked off Woody so much that he started beating the person up with the wood, until the poor fellow's spleen ruptured and his brains started leaking out his head.