Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)
This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.
Template:Old news
You can use this template in an UnNews story to cite a previous story on the same topic. The first parameter is the name of the old story, omitting the UnNews: prefix.
Add float=left as the second attribute to make it float on the left instead of right.
You can use {{UnNews Archive}} in a mainspace article to point to an UnNews archive of stories.