Talk:The Pun Invasion of Uncyclopedia

Humour:	6	Ah, the humble pun. The lowest form of wit, and yet the basis of all comedy, the pun is something which all we Brits hold as dear as Chicken Tikka Masala, Spaghetti Bolognese and Turkish Saints. So anyway. A pun should, in my mind, make you do one of two things. You either read it and think "My, that's a clever one, I must remember it", or you read it and cringe and be glad that whoever wrote it isn't your child as otherwise you'd feel the need to apologise to the whole world for the awfulness of the pun (my Dad's puns fall firmly into the latter category. As a starter for ten, try and guess why he laid on the floor in the middle of a French Supermarket in mid December – answer a the end of the article). On the whole, my biggest criticism of the article as a whole is that there aren't enough puns – and in an article about the invasion of puns, surely it should be invaded, nay violated, by them Opening paragraphs and quotes Can do better. The Oscar Wilde quote is a bit random – I'd have been inclined to attribute it to one of his peers (Hegel), and call him a K*nt… Other than that – where are the puns? To my (admittedly still n00bi15h) mind, this should set the tone… And it doesn't really. Local Reaction I've a few issues with this bit really, so to go through them in turn: Opening paragraph – Think this needs expanding Sexual Innuendo – you could make more of this, especially as the innuendo partly occurs from a number of rather smutty puns. Random and Slapstick – I think you demean slapstick as a form of humour in its own right. I'd split these two up, which would then give you a great opportunity to go way more Monty Python on their assess. Holocaust Humour – tasteless, but puns all the same – congratulations. Satire – Given that satire and puns are variously held to be the lowest forms of wit, this could be more. And I'd not call WLIIA satire; satire should actually satirise something. Racist Humour – while I agree, it's not so insightful. I'd have said something about their disgust at the influx of ‘black' humour, such that puns passed them by… The Different Puns Pretty reasonable, though the section on the whole could be sharper. Bilingual puns should have mentioned they were indeed feline pets (two German, named eins and zwei, and one French, name Un Deux Trois; while eins and Zwei made it to drei, Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq.) And you miss out the Petit Poisson rouge, though everyone knows that actually the petit pois sont vert. Of course, there are human puns, such as young Fritz, who is well aware that the sentence "Meine Schwester ist schwanger" does not contain the words "der, die und das", until he points out that, "der die daß gemacht hat is abgehaunt." For malapropisms, I'd point out that they were thought to be puns until geriatric tasting proved them to be of a different genius altogether. The shaggy dog story doesn't end in a pun, so for your benefit here's one that does: A man went to the pet shop, to buy a bird. Not just any bird – he wanted one that would talk. He had a list of birds written down – Norwegian Blue, Mynah Bird, Macaw, you name it, he'd thought of it. Maybe it was the time of year, or just that he entered the wrong pet shop. Anyway, the owner had only one bird to offer – an unusual, exotic, flightless bird, famed far and wide for its ability to talk. This bird was, of course a Rairy Bird. This was too much of an opportunity for the aspirant bird owner to resist. Happily forking out for such a fine specimen, he proceeded to the bird home and begin its schooling. He should probably have guessed earlier that it was going to be a long, slow process. The bird was having none of it – it just perched there all day and squawked. And not any old squawk – this was pure pain, like nails-down-a-blackboard mixed with an out of tune second-soprano (though the latter part of that comparison is somewhat tautological). He tried everything – food, bribery, prayer, covering its cage, putting it with other birds… nothing could stop this hideous creature from screeching day and night. Finally, he'd had enough. After weeks of its agonising noise, he finally snapped. Picking up the cage, he walked into the pet shop and dumped it back on the counter. Immediately the noise stopped. And since he couldn't prove there was a problem, the owner wouldn't give him any money back. Well, by now he was beyond caring about the money, he just wanted rid. So he started to try ways to get rid of it. He left it on the bus – but it screeched so loud the bus driver wouldn't let him get off without it. He tried to get rid of the damn bird by driving to the countryside and leaving it there, but next morning, outside his back door, that hideous, painful wail continued. He took it to the zoo and threw it into the lion enclosure, but the scream was enough to frighten even the most hardened of predators. Finally he hit on a plan. "It's a Rairy bird, so it's flightless, right? I'll take it up to a high building and throw it off. That way, I don't have to see it die, but I'll know it's gone for good." Living in London, he felt sure he could find a building tall enough. It had to be high enough that he could be sure it would be dead; after all, the only thing worse than a Rairy bird would be a Rairy bird screaming in constant pain. Climbing to the top of an unnamed tower block, he approached it with a sense of foreboding. Here he was, about to murder a valuable bird in cold blood. And all because he couldn't face the noise. Walking to the edge, careful not to look down, he opened the cage door, and began to tilt the cage over the side of the building. "STOP", the bird suddenly screamed. "You can't do that". Astonished, the man pulled back. "Why now? Why, after all this time, have you started to speak now?" "Well", said the bird. "The height was worrying me. It's a long way to tip a Rairy…" Oscar Knows Best Unfortunately, this section just feels a bit like you've run out of ideas…
Concept:	7	The concept itself is reasonable, and should work. The main consideration is how it's meant to be delivered – like I say, for me, it should be overloaded with puns. Additionally, (and you've done this slightly by your Wikipedia link) you could make it into a punning satire on the immigration debate, something which would make it a really damn good article.
Prose and formatting:	8	For one such as yourself, it shouldn't really be my place to comment on formatting 'n' stuff. Spelling and grammar there's one or two small comments – consistency of capitals (wiki/Wiki), rogue commas (…Life of Brian causing, a large…), consistency of formatting. I'd also like to see slightly longer sections, going into a little more detail. That will come out of the content, but it will make the formatting work better as well.
Images:	7	They're a little… flat. The same criticism is probably true of my pictures as well, but I think they could be a little more creative. And the captions could be more punning as well…
Miscellaneous:	7	Averaged
Final Score:	35	(1) He was trying to give my mother a kiss under the middle toe.
Reviewer:	User:Gladstone/sig 14:42, 8 August 2008 (UTC)