Talk:Sunny D
This article was nominated for deletion on 8th December 2010.
The result of the discussion was Keep.
|
|||
From Pee Review[edit]
Humour: | 6 | I found myself chuckling lightly over this article, the humour is there, its just not too outstanding. |
Concept: | 7 | I can see that you are trying very hard to get a good concept going, the general gist being that some guy made Sunny D in an attempt to launch a rocket, then his son drank it… and the rest is history. Very nice, as far as I am concerned. |
Prose and formatting: | 6 | Your grammar is, simply, not too bad. I gave it a 6 rather then a 5 because I can see the effort you are putting in. |
Images: | 0 | There are no images in this article. Waaaah . Do you know how to upload images? If you don’t, please feel free to leave a message on my talk page. |
Miscellaneous: | 4.75 | Rounded as per Pee Review Guidlines |
Final Score: | 23.75 | My recommendation would be to upload an image of sunny delight, with a modification of someone peeing on it. Change the label on the Sunny D to say “Sunny Pee” That would make the article so far as I am concerned! Good luck with this article! |
Reviewer: | Javascap 19:26, 5 March 2008 (UTC) |
From Pee Review (second review)[edit]
Humour: | 4 | I giggled, but there is potential for far more funnies. |
Concept: | 6 | I agree with you Sunny D tastes like wank and yet it’s so popular (or at least was (I live in a really flaky town[1] so I don’t know, the rest of the world may still love it)). As I’ve said there is room for expansion, you seemed to only focus on orange flavour when it has evolved into other flavours since (the strawberry one tastes like menstruation blood (not that I’d know)). Although I like how you have it coming about by accident as ‘don’t all the best things come about by accident?’ |
Prose and formatting: | 6 | Your spelling and grammar seem ok (I’d get a second opinion of this though as mine sux). Your generally layout isn’t fantastic though, the right half is just a block of blocks. The table probably should be at the top (roughly where the picture of ‘David Sunny’ is) and in fact it would probably be better to just get rid of that picture altogether, it’s not especially funny and is sort of cluttering the place up. |
Images: | 7 | I’d like to know how you got your hands on that picture from my 20th, but it works, shows the first sunny d genuine pig to be a bit, er, simple. And like I said the picture of Mr Sunny can probably just go. |
Miscellaneous: | 5.75 | I mentioned that there is definitely room for expansion; this could probably be best executed in your list of other uses. Make up ‘unnews’ references for instances of it being used as a murder weapon (i.e. a Molotov cocktail) or for cheating in the Olympics. Also you could say it’s popular with anorexics for its laxative qualities while pointing out it has more calories than if you were to eat a heard of elephants.
Also you kind of stated the obvious a few times which detracted from your jokes, like in the DYK box things are meant to be true, you don’t need to say so, and at the bottom of the ingredients list anyone that didn’t notice the numbers add up to 110% doesn’t deserve to know. And like I mentioned you could probably do a section on its ‘evolution’ into other flavours, even make up crazy ones like ‘milk’ flavoured sunny d (milk in inverted commas as could carry on idea that it’s made up of nasty bodily fluids). The quotes at the top; I liked the Oscar Wilde one, but for the advertising one you could say “Liars on Sunny D” and captain obvious is wrong ‘cos it’s only ‘Sunny D’ in colloquial language. And I find him irritating. One last thing, and I’m just being picky here, you’re from the UK right? Why are you saying alcoholic for under 21s? American law isn’t the be all and end all of the world and we can get tattered at 18, just change that please. |
Final Score: | 28.75 | I think I've basically said everything that needed to be said, i'f you want to ask anything though or insult me go to my talk page and leave a note.
|
Reviewer: | --orian57 07:55, 15 March 2008 (UTC) |
From Pee[edit]
Sunny D[edit]
Maff 17:32, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
PRIP EXPIRED Though Javascap reserved this Pee Review, he/she/it/Abominable Snowman has not yet completed it. You may claim the review by replacing his/her/its/Abominable Snowman's name with yours. |
Humour: | 6 | I found myself chuckling lightly over this article, the humour is there, its just not too outstanding. |
Concept: | 7 | I can see that you are trying very hard to get a good concept going, the general gist being that some guy made Sunny D in an attempt to launch a rocket, then his son drank it… and the rest is history. Very nice, as far as I am concerned. |
Prose and formatting: | 6 | Your grammar is, simply, not too bad. I gave it a 6 rather then a 5 because I can see the effort you are putting in. |
Images: | 0 | There are no images in this article. Waaaah . Do you know how to upload images? If you don’t, please feel free to leave a message on my talk page. |
Miscellaneous: | 4.75 | Rounded as per Pee Review Guidlines |
Final Score: | 23.75 | My recommendation would be to upload an image of sunny delight, with a modification of someone peeing on it. Change the label on the Sunny D to say “Sunny Pee” That would make the article so far as I am concerned! Good luck with this article! |
Reviewer: | Javascap 19:26, 5 March 2008 (UTC) |